Hannah To Hannah

When we printed this poem, the only information we had was, "Posted to the alt.infertility internet newsgroup in August of 1997. We were unable to trace the originating author." We have since found this poem to be © 1980 Russell Kelfer. All rights reserved. To read this wonderful, powerful, incredible poem, please visit:

Russell Kelfer's Wait Page
or
The Wait Poem

"Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall, but those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."
Isaiah 40:30-31 (New King James Version)

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Change of Contact Information!

As of March 1, 1998, the Hannah's Prayer phone number has changed. Rick and Jennifer have maintained a voice mail account for use by Hannah's Prayer since the beginning of the ministry, but this number now being disconnected. Please notice the new Hannah's Prayer telephone number that rings directly into the Saake's home. Our new telephone number is (702)826-4794. Unless Jennifer happens to be available in the office when you call, this number will typically be answered by machine but Jenni will do her best to return calls as efficiently as possible.

Our Winter '97 issue announced our change of email addresses. Most of you noticed that change and have been using the new address, but we have continued to receive several messages to the old address. Please check your email listings again. If you still are using the old "quiknet" account, please be sure to change it as this address is completely inactive as of the end of March. The correct email address for Hannah's Prayer is hannahs@hannah.org.

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Jenni's Journal

Thoughts from Hannah's Prayer Director, Jennifer Saake

As I pray through the contents for each issue of Hannah to Hannah the individual newsletters often tend to take on a personality of their own. I had planned to use this quarter's letter to address primarily "Mother's Day" and "Father's Day" issues with a strong emphasis on the male perspective, but I would say that the overriding theme of this issue is "Waiting". Perhaps I've focused in on poems and articles on waiting because these have been the ones most challenging and convicting in my own life in recent months or perhaps the Lord has woven together the theme of this letter to meet you at your own point of need. As you take the time to read through this Spring issue, my prayer is that you will find at least one thought that will encourage you through your days of waiting ahead.

In addition to all the waiting that is a normal part of fertility challenges, the Lord has allowed Rick and I to face many other "waits" that have tested and stretched us over the past several months. For well over a year we had felt a desire to find a different job for Rick but all potential leads became closed doors. Last Spring we also decided we were ready to stop renting and look for a home to buy. We qualified for a loan without any trouble but then had one problem after another in dealing with our real estate agent and we simply could not find the right house to buy.

"Lord, what is happening? First we have to wait for a baby… then a job… then a house… What lessons on waiting have we still not learned? Are you listening to any of our prayers???"

We told the Lord that we were willing to stay in this area or move out of state, but that we needed clear direction. We asked Him to either allow us to buy a house here in northern California as confirmation that He wanted us to find a job locally, or to give us a job offer out of state as indication that He planned for us to move. Months passed and we continued to simultaneously job search and house hunt but still nothing happened. Though well qualified and having a great résumé, Rick's applications seemed to go ignored by the hundreds and interviews seemed fruitless. Last fall we did have a couple of opportunities for jobs that would have been "quick fixes" allowing Rick to get out a distasteful work environment, but in the long-run those jobs would have been every bit as dissatisfying because they were not areas of strength for Rick nor positions we felt the Lord's blessing or direction to accept.

"Lord, you have laid it heavily upon our hearts that this is not where you want us, so why aren't you showing us where to go? Waiting is so painful and frustrating!"

In December we knew that the time had come that we must take a step of obedience to do what would seem foolish in the eyes of the world. So, with still no new employment lined up, Rick gave notice to his employer that he would be leaving at the end of the year. We had been sure that the Lord wouldn't ask us to leave one job without the "safety net" of a new job already in place, and yet that is exactly what He did.

The first few days of unemployment weren't so bad. In fact, after a job that had kept us apart most of our waking hours for the past 2 ½ years, having Rick home so much was wonderful! But the intensified stress of not knowing when or where Rick would be able to find a new job was also quickly wearing on us both. Now Rick took the rejection letters (or worse yet, no response at all) from interviews much more personally than he had when he still had the comfort of existing employment to fall back on. Each time he would get his hopes up only to have them crash down around him, he became more tense. Of course I desperately wanted to see my husband happy and to again have the assurance and stability that a job would provide, but most of the weight and heartache seemed to come down on Rick's shoulders. Though I was definitely effected by the stress and far from indifferent in the situation, I did not feel the same personal devastation that Rick encountered with each closed door.

One day, as Rick was waiting for a return call from a potential employer with whom he had been playing phone-tag for several day, he was very frustrated and told me that the waiting and not knowing was even harder than finding out for sure that any given job was a definite no. At the time I was stressed out over a coming infertility appointment and snapped back, rather unsympathetically, that I had to face the same feelings every month waiting to find out if we were pregnant or not. Even though my attitude was not right at that moment, the Lord used my reaction as a breakthrough for both of us.

After that brief exchange of frustrations, I more fully understood that when Rick isn't crushed by each negative pregnancy test, it is not because he lacks the desire to be a father. When he doesn't share my turmoil and tears, this is not a reflection of insensitivity to my heartache. Just as my concern that he find the right job was genuine, his grief over our struggles to build a family is real and intense. For Rick, Noel's death and our infertility simply do not challenge his nature or attacked the core of his being as personally as they distress me.

Long ago we learned the principle that God created women to be nurtures and men to be providers, but the personal application of the idea that men and women tend to approach fertility challenges in such different ways has never been so tangibly illustrated to me as it has through the other challenges in our lives this year. I wish to be careful in generalizing the male and female reactions to infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth or infant death because for every rule there are many exceptions. No couple sails through infertility or the death of a baby without some level of trauma, but the way individual reactions and emotions play out differs within each marriage. By sharing the experiences of our marriage, my hope is that you will see yourselves in some aspect of our story, and more importantly see how the Lord can work through the trials that He allows you to endure.

Through the waiting we have faced this year in the areas of our lives that are not fertility-related, we have seen some amazing parallels to the "baby wait." Just as we questioned the Lord when we felt Him leading us out of one job without quick and clear direction into a new field, so we wondered why He would give us the desire to have children only to make the task difficult. Our willingness to move in any direction God would lead us with a job or home was similar to our eagerness to bring children into our family in any manner the Lord would provide, whether through biological parenthood or adoption. The joy or having so much quality time together when Rick finally quit his job was eclipsed by the urgency to find employment, much as the spark of excitement in our physical relationship turned to frustration as the thrill of making love became the chore of making a baby. The coping skills we have learned from infertility and Noel's miscarriage have helped us communicate more clearly with one another through these past several months of stress.

Although we desperately wanted to change our circumstances, God cannot be rushed. Nearly two months after giving notice to his boss that he would be leaving, Rick was offered the kind of job that he really wanted. He is now working with computers for a newspaper in Nevada and loving it! We will still be living in an apartment but our new neighborhood is nice and we hope to again try to buy a home in another year or two - please be sure to note our new contact information! The additional blessing in waiting for God's perfect plan and timing is that Rick's new benefits even include some help with adoption costs! By not rushing ahead of God as we searched for a new job, He has not only cared for Rick's employment needs but also given us new hope in our efforts to have children. Our lessons in waiting may not be over yet, but God's grace is sufficient to help us through the times of trial.

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Pen Pal Connection

In last quarter's newsletter, Bonnie, a 31-year-old woman dealing with infertility, requested pen pals. Since she received over 40 responses and has had many changes in her situation since that request, she asked us to print an update along with her thanks to all the wonderful people who responded.

Soon after the pen pal request was printed "we found ourselves pregnant and it was not possible for me to properly respond to each person as our computer is on the second floor and I wasn't supposed to go upstairs. On January 5th, at 8 weeks and 3 days, I had a miscarriage." Bonnie Boisvert, PO Box 285, SW Harbor, Maine 04679-0285, albert2@acadia.net

If you would like a pen-pal request listed in a future newsletter, please send us your names, address, and brief story. Because we also have a separate "Email Pals" program, you must specify that you would like your announcement printed in the newsletter if you would like your personal contact information made available here (including our email, web site, and postal versions of this newsletter) rather than on the email pals web site.

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A Father Faces Secondary Infertility

1991, life was so perfect back then. We had a two-year-old daughter and we were ready to add to our little family. We thought it was the perfect timing. God didn't.

Secondary infertility was quite a shock, especially when we had conceived twice before very quickly. The first pregnancy, in 1987, ended in early miscarriage and the second in a beautiful little girl. It seemed ridiculous that we would not be able to get pregnant again.

As the months rolled by without any success, we realized that something was wrong. We went in for an initial battery of tests, set up by my wife's OB. Both of our results came back OK. We waited for several more months before seeing a RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist), trying Clomid to increase our chances.

When we went to the RE, he ordered more extensive testing for both of us. My wife had, in the words of the RE, "the ovaries of a sixteen-year-old". My test, however, showed a real problem. My count was very high, which had been previously tested, but my mobility, progression and morphology were all very poor. This triple whammy insured my inability to impregnate my wife. This was a big blow to the old ego.

Most men have far more of their identity and masculinity tied to their ability to father a child than they're willing to admit. I've known men that refuse to have a vasectomy because, in their words, "I don't want anybody cutting on me down there". The real reason is that they are afraid of losing part of their identity. Add to this the fact that most men aren't comfortable talking about their feelings and you've got a classic clam-up case. "How are you doing with this", she asks. "I'm OK", he replies, and then won't talk about it. I wasn't any different.

Men, your wife should be the best friend and intimate confidant you have. Start sharing your feelings with her. If you can't talk about infertility yet, then talk about something else. A movie, the weather, even the dog. Whatever it is, let her know how you feel about it. Does it make you sad? Glad? Mad? Tell her.

Ladies, be patient. Gently ask leading questions, but let it be if he's not yet comfortable talking about it. If you try to pry the clam open, it only shuts harder. Don't be judgmental if his feelings are different than yours about the same topic. Be satisfied with just a little at first; as he begins to feel more comfortable with opening up, you'll get more.

- Michael Nootbaar
Hannah's Prayer Chapter Host, Nevada City, California

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Rebecca's Garden

Hello, my name is Rebecca, and this is my garden. I have never been to my garden or walked along its paths. I have never turned the soil or lingered in the glistening sunlight of the morning dew. I have yet to touch or smell the sweetness of each flower, or to sit among the leaves as they gently dance in the evening breeze. I have not been to my garden, nor will I ever be. You see, this garden is not for me, but because of me. God has given this garden to you, in my memory, to reveal the wonder and majesty of Himself.

God had a glorious plan for me. He gave me the precious gift of life, but only for a predetermined time in my Mother's womb. In His sovereign wisdom He chose to use my life in a very different way. He knew I would never come to know my family, at least not here at this time. Instead, God carried me from death into life, to my Heavenly garden, where I am tenderly cradled in his everlasting arms, surrounded by the fragrance of His holy presence. My Heavenly Father lovingly cares and watches over me. I am safe in the arms of Jesus. I now rest in the fulfilling promise of His word. Come, walk with me in my garden. Let me show you the way.

Like a melody in a song of praise, God orchestrated my garden. Through His amazing grace, He lovingly pieced together every detail, weaving the portrait of Himself into every gift of blessing and every created treasure. Through the lives and hands of my family, God created this garden. In so doing, He nurtured and began the healing process to their broken hearts. My garden is God's gift of love and hope to my family. Here they have found a peaceful haven, paved with my memories, which is blossoming into blessings of comfort and joy. God's purpose for my life has found its beginning in this garden.

As you can see, the beauty of God's handiwork is all around. Even the birds come to share in the nearness of God as they feed and find peace in this haven of rest. Jesus found peace and comfort in the garden of Gethsemane, as He communed with His Father. You too, can find comfort and peace in the waiting arms of a loving Savior. He longs to fill your cup, to quench your thirst from His well of Living Water, that will spring forth into life eternal. Without water my garden will wither and die. Without Jesus Christ, the Living Water, you will wither and die a spiritual death for all eternity.

Have you tasted His refreshing gift of life? If not, God has provided a bridge from death unto life, through the crosswork of Jesus Christ. Jesus, the beautiful Rose of Sharon, willingly sacrificed His life, bore your sins, wore your crown of thorns. Yes, Jesus Christ died, was buried in a garden tomb, but rose again victorious. By faith in Him alone, you can be free from eternal destruction. God has promised to all who believe and call upon His name, a home in Heaven with Him, just like me, for all eternity.

Now that you have been to my garden, you can see and feel that it is not a place of sorrow and despair. My garden is not just a lovely piece of earth where plants and flowers have been placed to blossom and grow. My garden is a living picture of God's abundant love and grace. A portrait of Jesus Christ, who is a refuge from the storms of life, the salvation for lost souls. My garden is a special place where the hand and heart of God have been revealed through my family's loss and my Heavenly gain. Please do not be sad for me. Everything was accomplished according to God's divine plan.

My garden is a symbol of life, death and life eternal, designed and fulfilled by Almighty God. We joyfully await the promise of our resurrection reunion. To God be the glory, great things He has done!

- C. J. Hunt

We miss your physical presence, the sight, sound and touch of God's awesome miracle of life. I know your place is not here. Your abode is a place abounding in joy, love and completeness. What greater desire of a mother than to have her child's life fulfilled in this way. Till then, we will meet in the garden and our hands will affectionately nurture God's handiwork… As your dad expectantly wrote in your Bible, "See you in a while."
- Rebecca's Mom, Patty Schwartz

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The Heart of a Man

I recently found the Hannah's Prayer web site and read some of the back newsletters. The poem "Will Anyone Ever Call Me Mommy" in the Spring '97 issue really hit home, even though I am a man. I know how difficult it has been for my wife (and me) not being able to have a child. We have thought some of the same things that were expressed in that poem. I am 50 and it still hurts!

Very few people understand the pain that goes with being childless. They are usually too busy talking about their children to really listen and understand. I wanted to thank you for this organization. I wish there had been a support group like this 27 years ago when we were trying to have a child. We never would have made it without God's help.

- Gary

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"Hannah's Prayer"
A song written for the guitar - "Bluegrass" style, key of Bb.
A "Modern Day" version of the story of Hannah found in First Samuel, Chapter One.

When Hannah was just a girl
In Southern Tennessee
She thought she knew just what her life would be
At night she'd pray just before she went to sleep
"Give me a husband,
I need a baby to keep."

Well the years went by and she met her man
It didn't take long to put a ring on her hand
But there was something missing
that they could do something about
Every night she'd pray just before she went to sleep
"Thank you Lord for my husband,
I'm waiting for the baby to keep."

(CHORUS)
Hannah's Prayer
She always knew it would come true,
Hannah's Prayer
If she prayed enough she knew
That God would give her the desires of her heart
A baby, a gift that would never depart
Each day she'd pray with a faith strong and new
Hannah's Prayer.

More time went by, and still no child
Hannah prayed, she thought she'd go wild.
The doctor said "There's nothing you can do."
But in her heart she knew just what to do
She prayed "Lord give me a baby
I'll teach him to serve you."

One summer day Hannah got a call
The look on her face, told it all
"You're gonna have a baby"
Said the voice on the end of the phone.
And she said,
"Thank you Lord for my husband
And for little baby Sam
But most of all thanks for the faith
That makes me who I am."

REPEAT CHORUS

Hannah's Prayer, Hannah's Prayer.

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What Name is There for Us?

When a married man dies, his wife is called a widow.
When a husband loses his wife, he is called a widower.
A child without parents is called an orphan.
But what word is there for an infertile or bereaved parent without a child?

"…they say there is no word for a parent who loses a child. That's how awful the loss is."
- From "An Orphan's Tale" by Jay Neugeboren

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A Mother's Love

A mother's love is like no other
Self-sacrificing, unselfish, patient
Always putting the needs of the child
Above the needs of themselves
Willing to sacrifice their life
If it means allowing their child to live.

A mother's love begins before conception
The desire to parent, to make a difference
To unconditionally love another
Burns deeply in the depths of the heart
And so the adventure begins
Of this mother's love.

Five years ago I began this thrilling ride
From the depths of depression to the
Thrilling peaks of expectation
Only to come crashing into reality
An ever growing mother's love
With no receiver.

Each month found me returning to the line
To ride the ride one more time
That little bit of hope
That little bit of Mother love
Encouraging me to take the journey
Just one more time.

A romantic spontaneous evening for two
Has turned into a game with a team approach
The playing field is white and sterile
The equipment is needles, blood draws and ultrasounds
The timing is crucial, the plan is prepared
And we play this game, for a mother's love.

- Jane Simeone, 1995
Editor's note: The Simeones have since gone on to know the joys of a mother's and father's love through their son Mario Victor Simeone, who survives his two sisters, Amber Raquel and Cheyenne Barbara after their birth in June, 1997.

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Two Words from the Infertility Dictionary

"Waiting" and "Patience" are two hard words in the infertility dictionary!

Remember back to your last trip to the amusement park. Usually, long lines indicated an exciting ride such as the roller coaster or water ride. Every once in awhile in the long lines there is a sign that predicted an approximate wait. "60 minute wait from this point". Still, most stay in line. After all, it is going to be worth it!! Soon, you will see, "15 minute wait from this point". Finally, you actually will be next. After the quick ride, with smile on your face, you determine, it was worth the wait.

During infertility, you are in the long line waiting for the exciting ride of motherhood. Unfortunately, there are no signs to predict the approximate wait. As you stand in the back, you cannot help but notice those that go before you. Some even seemingly cut in line and go before you. So, as you continue to stand in line, try to remember this verse and wait on the Lord. Ask for His strength. Whatever the Lord has planned will also be worth the wait.

- Tonya Walls

"Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord."

Psalm 27:14 (King James Version)

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For Mother's Day

As we approach Mother's Day, my heart aches for those women who are longing for a child. My church in Palo Cedro, California participates in Birthright's annual Mother's Day Rose Sale. All the mothers and grandmothers receive a rose or a carnation on Mother's Day. I remember one Mother's Day (before I was a mother) our pastor's wife handed me a rose as I was going out the door. I told her "I'm not a mother", so I didn't expect to receive a rose. When I said that, she handed me another one and said she wanted me to have them. She probably will never know how she touched me by that gesture…

As little as seven years ago when I was first beginning my climb up the barren mountain, infertility was a subject never talked about. I was informed of no support groups and the only books I came across were books on the medical aspects of how to conceive; the emotional trauma was completely ignored. To me it was like a silent disease, crying on the inside and trying to live normally on the outside.

Infertility was a very definite crisis in my life, spanning a period of about five years. At my lowest point, I found myself desperately depressed and believing that I was actually going to die at a young age and that was why I was not having children. Later when resources became available, I read that one of the common symptoms of infertility depression is a preoccupation with death. I was astounded to read this, and then I began to understand, and I was comforted that I was not alone in these dark and confusing feelings.

There is a loss when a couple cannot conceive a child. It is a loss that they must grieve for in the same sense as a death. For a dream had died, something that you always supposed would naturally be a part of you has died. This loss must be grieved like a death..

I said I didn't have books and support groups during my struggle with infertility. But I did have one book, I had the Bible. There is a wonderful story that encouraged me and gave me faith… the story of "Hannah", found in First Samuel. The story is of a woman who prayed from her heart for a child. In the Lord's time, He answered that prayer and brought Hannah a son. It was from this testimony of faith that we named our little girl, Hannah, when we adopted her at birth in 1986. I hung on to that story of faith and I endured the same pain Hannah felt as she wept for a child.

© 1989, Donna Lessard Pratt, reprinted by permission.
First publish in the April/May 1989 issue of "Prose and Coos" Adoption News.

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Resources & Reviews

Hannah's Prayer is not directly related to, nor has any financial interest in the following resource products, services, or organizations. We prayerfully list them to help you find other resources that may be of blessing or encouragement to you.

	As mentioned in our last newsletter, Children of Promise is a yearly retreat for infertile Christian couples, held over Mother's Day weekend in Pennsylvania. This year's conference, May 8-10, is titled "Joy in the Journey" and will feature the presentations of three couples who have resolved their infertility through the different paths of medical treatment, adoption and child free living. For more information please contact Colleen Zeigler no later than April 28, 1998 at (724)654-2242 or write RD 1, Box 408, New Castle, PA 16101.
	The Christian infertility newsletter Stepping Stones is sponsoring a conference on infertility, May 8-9, 1998 (the Friday evening and Saturday before Mother's Day) in Grand Rapids, Michigan. The conference is titled "Hope! Help! Holding Onto God!" and will feature Dr. William G. Dodds who is a Christian infertility specialist. Topics include medical issues facing Christians, secondary infertility, healing after miscarriage, adoption options and starting support groups. For more information please call Martheen at (616)224-7488. To subscribe to the Stepping Stones newsletter write Stepping Stones, c/o Bethany Christian Services, PO Box 294, Grand Rapids, MI 49501-0294. (Like Hannah to Hannah there is no subscription fee but donations are appreciated.)
	The National Perinatal Bereavement Conference is being planned for October 2-4, 1998 in Baltimore, Maryland. If you are a parent who has experienced ectopic pregnancy, miscarriage, stillbirth or newborn death you may call the Conference Planning Committee at (717)851-3467 for registration information. (This conference is not Christian based but may be helpful to you.)
	Wishing for a Baby: A Preconception Journal is a beautiful new resource created by Hannah's Prayer member Julie Watson. The Watsons have been walking through infertility for the past seven years and have recently created a special publishing company called "Conceiving Concepts" with the goal of producing quality infertility materials then using the proceeds of this business to fund a fertility foundation that will eventually aid couples in the financial expenses of infertility or adoption. This is the first journal we have encountered that was specifically created for use by infertile couples. In addition to the basic charts that you would expect to find in such a workbook, Wishing for a Baby includes room to track doctor's appointments, bills (even a pocket for the receipts), and sort through your emotions. The ten sections of this journal (addressing everything from temperature charting and decision making to dealing with family and friends, pregnancy loss and success) each include suggested reading materials and web sites to find more information. Well done, Julie! Contact Julie Watson, c/o Conceiving Concepts, Inc., PO Box 869, Crestwood, KY 40014, www.conceivingconcepts.com or call (502)241-8497.
	A Graceful Waiting is a book that was recommended to me last year by one of our Hannah to Hannah subscribers. Going though all the waiting that we have faced this year (see "Jenni's Journal") this book has become a treasure to me. Jan Frank does not write specifically about infertility, although Hannah's story is one of the examples the author uses to illustrate God's ways in our waits. A Graceful Waiting shows God's hand at work in our lives in every waiting situation from the smallest, every-day circumstances to the major, life-altering ones. Using the principle of seasons and harvesting a crop, Jan takes us step-by-step through the wondering, whining, wrestling, weeping, wisdom and worship stages of learning to wait on the Lord. This challenging and encouraging book should be available in your local Christian bookstore or you may contact the publisher directly at Servant Publications, PO Box 8617, Ann Arbor, MI 48107.

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Ministry Update for Hannah's Prayer

Because Hannah's Prayer is a ministry by, for and about "modern day Hannahs" (men and women facing infertility, pregnancy loss or infant death) we feel it is important to keep you updated on your organization. Here are some facts you might like to know.

Growing from a mailing list of less than 25 couples in mid 1995, the Hannah to Hannah newsletter now reaches approximately 1,200 subscribers each quarter through email and postal distribution. With the addition of our newest care/support group in Nevada, we currently sponsor six active Hannah's Prayer chapters (and two inactive chapters awaiting new leadership) in the United States and South Africa. Our internet outreach is also growing with an average of 84 visits to our web site each day. Between May 24, 1997 and March 23, 1998 (ten months) our home page was accessed over 25,600 times!

As a non-profit organization that does not charge membership or subscription fees, our ministry expenses are funded through voluntary contributions. The $4,312.00 we received in donations in 1997 were given by 40 people. We also received some non-cash gifts such as two computers and several books for our resource/lending libraries. Last year's expenses totaled $4,021.90 (leaving us a balance of $290.10 at the start of 1998) with our top five expenses being printing and reproduction ($1,040.38), postage and delivery ($851.84), telephone ($712.61), internet ($534.50) and library ($411.58). Other expenses included such things as office supplies, computer software, stationary and greeting cards, bank charges, legal fees, national picnic and the annual board meeting. As our ministry continues to expand, we anticipate a sharp rise in many of these expenses in the coming year. Please keep the financial needs of Hannah's Prayer in your prayers.

Your leadership team includes a national Board of Directors and the Chapter Hosts for each local support group, all of whom are unpaid volunteers. You will find each Chapter Host listed in the "Local Support Groups" section of this quarter's letter. Your Board Members are Debra Bridwell (author, The Ache for a Child), Leslie Snodgrass (retired editor, "Stepping Stones"), Diane Benedict (Hannah's Prayer Secretary/Treasurer), Rev. Ralph Camp (missionary), and Jennifer Saake (Chairman of the Board). Between these five Board Members we collectively have experienced nearly 30 years of infertility and the loss of 12 babies! We are prayerfully looking to add more Chapter Hosts and Board Members as the Lord provides the people He has chosen for these rolls. We specifically ask your prayers as the Board of Directors holds our annual meeting the first weekend of May.

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Local Support Groups

Hannah's Prayer Chapters:
* Indicates new chapter or new Chapter Hosts.

	Arkansas (including northeast Louisiana) - Crossett (AR-007) hosted by Daryl and Shelley Thurman who have suffered years of infertility caused by Endometriosis. While not having personally faced the loss of a child, the Thurmans have walked through this pain with members of their extended family. In the middle of March, Shelley learned that she is pregnant for the first time. (870)364-2459 sthurman@arkansas.net
	California - *Sacramento/Roseville/Rocklin (CA-003) hosted by Andrew and Jodie Radakovitz who have been dealing with infertility caused by PCO and the loss of one child to miscarriage. (916)789-1769 jodierad@juno.com
	California - Grass Valley/Nevada City (CA-001) hosted by Michael and JoAnne Nootbaar who now have two children (9 and 2 years old) after miscarriage and secondary infertility (male factor) including IVF/ICSI. (530)272-8701 mikenootbaar@value.net
	Nevada - *Reno/Sparks (NV-008) hosted by Hannah's Prayer founders, Rick and Jennifer Saake who have infertility caused by PCO and Endometriosis and have lost one child to miscarriage. (702)826-4794 hannahs@hannah.org (When you write or call, please specify your interest in the Reno area support as Jenni also conducts international Hannah's Prayer business from this address and phone.)
	Texas - Houston/Channelview (TX-006) hosted by Vincent and Catherine Darsey who have lost five children to miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy as they have journeyed through eight years of infertility. Home (281)452-6573, Catherine's work (713)460-4100 cwsbgss2@sprynet.com
	South Africa - Parow (SAfrica-005) hosted by Kobus and Laetitia Knoetze who have been dealing with male-factor infertility for several years. [+27] (021)913-4984 knoetze@ilink.nis.za

Other (non-H.P.) Local Support:
These groups are not directly associated with Hannah's Prayer Ministries. If you have a support group that you would like us to announce for you, please let us know. This is not a comprehensive list. For more support resources, please visit the Hannah's Prayer support group index.

	The information for "Five Cities Christian Women's Infertility Support Group" of Grover Beach, California shared in our last newsletter stated that their contact person, Nancy Martin, was expecting triplets. With great sorrow we pass along the news that these babies died from an infection that went on to claim Nancy's uterus as well. If you are looking for a support group in the San Luis Obispo area, you may still contact Nancy at (805)473-0634. Meetings are held every other Tuesday.
	Please contact Jeannie Fletcher, 119 Jayne Ave., Port Jefferson, NY 11777 or call (516)928-7283 for information on the Christian infertility support group "Hannah's Hope" meeting on Long Island.
	Lynn Weigelt is a Christian nurse who leads the pregnancy/infant loss support group in her hospital. Having herself faced infertility, multiple pregnancy losses and the death of a son to SIDS, Lynn is filled with compassion for couples facing fertility challenges. For grief support information you may contact Lynn Weigelt c/o Mercy Hospital, 4050 Coon Rapids Blvd. NW, Coon Rapids, MN 55433-2586.

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Sorrows & "Samuels"

Baby Memorials and Celebration Announcements

"I prayed for this child [Samuel], and the Lord granted me what I asked of Him."

I Samuel 1:27

In Loving Memory of:

Baby Mellott, miscarried at seven weeks 8/93, only child Robert and Trisha who have been struggling with infertility for 8 years. A special donation was made to Hannah's Prayer in memory of this child. "We don't know if you were a boy or a girl so we couldn't name you, but we know that Jesus gave you the most perfect name that some sweet day we will come to know when we meet in Heaven. We love you, Baby, and will never forget you."

Matthew Ryan, son of Laura and Dale Shipman, lost to early miscarriage 8/19/96. To aid in the work of Hannah's Prayer, a gift has been given in Matthew's name. "I am struggling with the loss of my precious baby but I know I will one day see him in Heaven. While I do not understand why this happened, I love him very much and he will always been in my heart."

Jesse and Gabriel, the first "precious angels" of Nancy and Randy Martin, miscarried at 10 weeks on 9/25/96, and Melia Margaret, Samuel Anthony and Elijah Christopher who followed their siblings to heaven on 10/30/97 at 20 weeks gestation. The triplets were born prematurely due to infection and Nancy lost her uterus to the same infection four days later. The Martins, who have no living children, have been dealing with infertility for six years and conceived both pregnancies through IVF.

Faith, daughter of Jennifer and Mr. Moore and baby sister of Thomas, who died just five days after birth on 8/20/97 due to congenital heart disease.

Rebecca, daughter of Patty and Mr. Schwartz, who was born still in April, 1997 just two weeks before her anticipated due date. Twenty minutes after Rebecca's birth, responding to the witness of Patty and her family in their acceptance of God's sovereignty in the midst of pain, the midwife who delivered Rebecca received Jesus Christ as her personal Savior. "Rebecca's physical death would be replace by my midwife's spiritual birth."

Payton Raliegh, son of Jeff and Jennifer Holder, who died in the 28th week of pregnancy and delivered 12/7/97. "Thank you Lord for the perfect son you gave us. He will never hurt, cry or be unhappy. He will never know how cruel this world of our is. I will never have to discipline him or tell him no. Yet, my heart yearns to hold him tight. We are left to grieve and heal by God's grace."

Matthew Richard and Joshua Lennart, sons of Chad and Britta Bergacs, who were stillborn 12/11/97 after Joshua developed a tumor causing sever pregnancy complications. A love donation has been given to Hannah's Prayer in memory of these two precious children.

Baby #5 Darsey, child of Hannah's Prayer Texas Chapter Hosts Vincent and Catherine, joined 4 brothers/sisters in Heaven when miscarried 1/5/98 at 4 weeks. The Darseys have been dealing with infertility for nearly 8 years and have no living children.

Baby Boisvert, first child of Bonnie and her husband, who had a strong heartbeat at the 6 week ultrasound but was miscarried 1/5/98 at 8 weeks, 3 days. Although the Boisverts have undergone thousand of dollars worth of fertility treatments, this baby was conceived during a natural cycle and they thought this was truly to be their miracle child. "We will always remember our precious baby in Heaven and look forward to seeing him/her some day."

In Joyful Celebration of:

Benjamin David, son of James and Lottie, born 11/4/97, welcomed into the Ramsay household through adoption after infertility.

Jessica Elizabeth, born to Joe and Jodie Barton, 11/18/97 after years of infertility.

Dale and Laura Shipman's son, born 12/3/97, a comfort to his parents after the miscarriage of Matthew in 1996.

Riley Breanne who, after nearly five years of infertility and the miscarriage of Aimee, joined the family of Brad and Jennifer Ballard (Hannah's Prayer chapter hosts) on 12/15/97 through the gift of adoption!

If you would like your baby listed in a future newsletter, please send us your loss, adoption, or birth announcement including names (of baby, parents, etc.), dates, any previous struggle with infertility or loss, and any other brief information you would like us to consider including. If you would like to make a memorial or celebration donation to Hannah's Prayer in your child's name, we will be happy to note that in your announcement. You must specify that you would like your announcement printed in the newsletter or we may unintentionally overlook publishing your precious baby's information.

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Hannah's Prayer Ministries
www.hannah.org
PO Box 168
Hanford, California 93232-0168
USA

E-Mail: Hannahs@Hannah.org

Voice Mail / Fax: (775)852-9202

Hannah's Prayer is a California based, non-profit 501(c)(3) organization, established Jan 1, 1995. All staff members are unpaid volunteers who are proclaiming Christians (from a range of denominational backgrounds) and have personal experience with the heartache of fertility challenges. This ministry and website are made possible by your tax deductible contributions.

This web site was established in April, 1996. For website related issues, please contact the Hannah's Prayer website administrator, Jill Sherbrooke. The Hannah's Prayer logo was designed exclusively for Hannah's Prayer by Rick Saake. Hannah's Prayer pages are Copyrighted. © 1996-2004, Hannah's Prayer Ministries. All rights reserved.