This was one of our first attempts at an online newsletter. Please forgive the poor readability. For current issues, please visit www.hannah.org/ministries/h2h.htm.
Hannah to Hannah
Fall/Winter '96 All rights reserved. Copyright 1996. Issue #6
A quarterly publication of Hannah's Prayer: Christian Support for Fertility Challenges
Including infertility or the loss of a child at any time from conception through early infancy
Mail: PO Box 5016, Auburn, California, 95604-5016
Web Site: http://www.Hannah.org
Highlights of this Issue
"If Only" - infertility poem
I'm Thankful For...
Recurrent
Miscarriage
Christmas Discouragement
Happy Holidays?
Christmas Coping
Tips
Thank you for your patience in awaiting the arrival of this issue of Hannah to Hannah. We apologize for the delay. Several challenges have prevented us form getting this letter together on schedule this quarter. Due to the lateness of this issue, it is a combined Fall-Winter edition. Funds permitting, we plan to mail the Spring issue in late February. Not long after the last issue was mailed, our computer printer broke down. It is finally working again (thus we can print this issue), but that was only the first stumbling block we faced. Just as I had this letter half way completed the first time, our hard drive crashed taking with it all of our back issues of the newsletter and all my husband's and my personal work (Hannah's Prayer does not own a computer so everything is done on our personal one). Unfortunately, we had not been careful about backing up our work, so we are still trying to reconstruct over 1,000 megs of lost information! Praise the Lord that the Hannah's Prayer mailing list was stored on our old computer, so we did not loose it!
Our computer was in the shop for about 3 weeks, and when it came back I had to start over from scratch with this newsletter. If you sent me information for this letter that I had promised to print in this issue, please forgive me, but it may have been lost in the crash. Please send it again if you do not see it here. I am especially worried that I may have lost baby memorials, pen-pal requests, or support group information. Once the computer was up and running with a new hard drive, we then started facing software problems that we are still trying to work through. Unfortunately, one of the programs that we are still having trouble with is the one I use to design this letter, so I must apologize for the lack of graphics and other artistic touches in this issue.
In the midst of these frustrations, we were finally able to apply for our bulk mail license. Praise the Lord for this blessing! I am very excited about this. Unfortunately, this also brought about its own set of challenges. The current Hannah's Prayer mailing list program is too small and does not have the correct features to work with our rapidly growing mailing list and bulk mail requirements. The new program that we needed was an $80 program and we did not have the funds to purchase it. God graciously supplied a donation of $50 just 2 days after we found out our need for this program, and we found the Deluxe edition of the program on an unheard of sale of $40 that same week! God is so good!!! We are now having to hand transfer each name and address from one program to the other as the two programs are not compatible. This is very frustrating and time consuming, but will be worth it once the new program is completely set up and useable. Unfortunately I have also fallen behind in answering individual letters and information requests because I have needed to devote so much time and effort to the "big picture" needs of the overall ministry this quarter, so please bear with me if I haven't responded to your letter with personal contact.
Many of you may not be aware that I have CFIDS (Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome) and much of what I am able to do with this ministry is dependent on my day by day health and strength. Another reason this letter is so delayed is due to some further medical testing that I had in October. The testing was very hard on me physically and resulted in me being bedridden for a couple of weeks. I am now somewhat back on my feet, but still not strong. I am trying a new medication and we are hopeful that it might make a difference in my daily quality of life. Several of our readers have offered to help with this ministry in any way possible, and I am so appreciative of your offers, but I really don't know what to ask you to do at this point. As I see ways that others care share the load of this ministry long distance, I will make it known. For now, I just ask your prayers. For those of you who have expressed interest in becoming Hannah's Prayer chapter hosts, we are still working on our handbook and hope to make some kind of announcement in the Spring issue that we are ready to start working with you.
The final reason that this issue is so late is one I really hesitate to address, and yet I feel that you need to know what is happening. From the first day of this ministry, Hannah's Prayer has been committed to not charging subscription or membership fees for our newsletter or our chapters. However, we do rely on voluntary contributions as our only means of support. It is very important to us that no one ever feel pressured into donating to this ministry, nor feel that they cannot be a part of this organization if they cannot or do not wish to give. Infertility or the loss of a child is more than enough hardship on a family, and we realize that charging for our services would create an additional financial hardship for many.
The reason I must address the issue of finances is because, even as I write this letter, Hannah's Prayer does not have enough funds to print and mail this issue. We finally have the ability to send our newsletter via e-mail, so those who are on line will be getting this letter first, over your computers, but we will have to wait to mail this letter to our postal subscribers until we have the funds to do so. Over the past few months, our donations have been very low. For those of you who have been able to give to this ministry, thank you! For those of you who cannot or do not feel led to donate, this message is not for you. What we are asking is for those who are financially able and feel God directing you to help with the needs of this ministry, to prayerfully consider how He might use you to help ease the heart ache of others. Thank you! Hannah's Prayer is a non-profit organization, and your tax deductible gifts (US funds only, please) may be sent to the address at the top of this letter.
Sincerely,
Jennifer Saake
Director, Hannah's Prayer
Please note: The bulk mail class we are using will not allow our newsletter to be forwarded to you nor returned to us if your address changes. Please be sure that we have your correct address. If your address changes, we need to know in order to update our mailing list.
Annie Fitch is a Catholic woman writing a book on the emotional and spiritual effects of infertility. Annie and Eric have been dealing with infertility for the past 12 years, and Annie has been walking in a personal relationship with Christ since March of '89. Annie has already written several books on other topics for the Catholic market and has recorded the album "Oh, Holy Angels". This book is to be written from a Christian perspective, for the secular market. If you are interested in the possibility of being interviewed for this book, please contact Annie at 5337 E. Pinchot Ave., Phoenix, AZ 85018. (602)952-7116 <fitch@primenet.com>
Tears awash my face anew at the thought running through my being, my mind...my soul.
The devastating loneliness, emptiness; the void inside that God created in me, in me, in me.
How can it be? Why me? Maybe it'll happen anyway...
My arms curved around the blessing from God which is a life, a child, my child.
The sweet, contented face, the smooth skin, the trusting, loving, innocent, beautiful eyes
that is my child, our child, God's child.
The small life learning a thousand, hundred thousand things a day:
the sight of me, my voice; life, comfort, good.
Cry and Momma will be there to take care of me.
Cry and Daddy's there to pick me up and hold me.
Love, gentle hands, sweet voice, gentle murmurings, unending patience,
God's blessing to us, training, changing of the guard.
"Pick me up, Momma, pick me up," I need to be held, comforted...and you are comfort.
"Daddy's home!" The rush of tiny feet to the front door, the jump. Daddy's arms, Daddy, my Daddy.
But it will never be, except from our rushing dogs...our surrogate family.
Empty, lonely, void. No patter of my child, no calling of my name by the fruit of my husband's body.
No passing on of myself to the next generation. No continuation of us and our love for each other.
Our arms hold onto each other so tightly. Our tears mingle into one single river of torrential torment.
For we miss the child that should be ours, that would be ours...
If only...
Cheryl Palmer 10/95
Thanksgiving
Amidst the pain and sorrow of infertility or the loss of your precious baby, it is often hard to find any reason to praise God or give thanks. One of our readers took a moment to find the things that she could be thankful for even in her pain. Maybe her thought will inspire each of us to find our blessings in these difficult days:
I am thankful for... Our first home. The basic needs are met--food, clothing, shelter. We have been able to pursue fertility treatments this year--at least we are DOING something about it! My kittens who make me laugh. A raise this year. A computer in my home. My husband's enduring love. His ability to pursue his dream of going to seminary and letting me be able to be a homemaker (my dream come true). My job enables me to be home most of the time (I am an organist for our church and seminary). We have a reliable car, wonderful friends, a supportive church, and kind, supportive in-laws and parents. Above all, I am thankful for God, my tender, loving Father to whom I can take all my grief and losses, who provides everything for us, who restores and heals those who are broken.
Karen Brim, Louisiana
There is an excellent story on page 70 of the November/December 1996 issue of Today's Christian Woman magazine called "One Woman's Story: The Thanksgiving I'll Never Forget". The article is about SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) and addresses the emotional and spiritual journey through death and grief. (Because many of our readers are newly bereaved, or dealing with infertility, and pregnancy stories are often painful, let me also point out that the other Thanksgiving story on page 100 is really cute, but does have the surprise ending of a pregnancy, I point this out so that no one is caught off guard if you read it.) For more information on this publication, contact: Today's Christian Woman, PO Box 37061, Boone, IA 50037-0060 (1-800-365-9484)
10/23/96, Kelly wrote: There we are, holding hands and looking anxiously at the monitor for a heartbeat...and the doctor isn't saying a word. For what seemed like hours he searched for something to show us. He finally tells us he can't find what he is looking for, but the tears running down my face tell him I already know that. He finds what should have been my baby...only it has been inactive for at least 3 to 4 days so there will be nothing left to even do any testing on.
I had one confirmed miscarriage in January '95 at 6 weeks, so why does this surprise me? I really didn't think that God would play this cruel joke on me again...AGAIN!! I know recurrent miscarriages happen to others but it was not suppose to happen to me! Who says God will only give you what you can handle? I CAN'T HANDLE THIS!!!! Tomorrow, I get to go to the OB department with all the other pregnant women to have another ultrasound before the D&C. I CAN'T HANDLE THIS!!!! On top of that, I have to carry my dead baby in my body for 2 days until they can get it out of me. I CAN'T HANDLE THIS!!!!
How am I suppose to be happy the next time I get pregnant?? How am I not suppose to be scared to death every single day? My RE is also a specialist in recurrent miscarriages and has a whole line up of tests ready for me in December, but is this suppose to make me feel better? I don't know if I can take this anymore...
Jenni wrote (in part) : Dear Kelly, ...God understands the grief of a parent's broken heart. He watched His only Son die the most cruel death imaginable. Please let Him share your pain!
Kelly: I guess this puts it all into perspective. As much as I want to almost hate God, I can't after reading this. It's so easy to forget that He does understand losing a child... If my anger, grief, or frustration helps someone else to feel that they are not alone, then I want my story printed along with the reminder that God understands our pain.
Sorrows and Samuels
In Loving Memory of: Kris Baker, miscarried January 27, 1995, and Taylor Baker, lost to ectopic pregnancy October 28, 1996. We thank God for you every day that we had you, even though our time with you was short. Love, Mommy (Kelly) and Daddy (Todd)
In Loving Memory of: Keric Abreu, born October 25, 1996, passed into the loving arms of Jesus, October 29, 9 hours after surgery for Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. Keric's death has left a void in the hearts of his father (a pastor), mother (Karla), and 2 siblings.
In Loving Memory of: Chris Messenger, conceived through infertility treatments, and miscarried New Year's Day, 1996, 2 days short of first trimester. Baby Chris would have been born July 23, 1996 and is always near to the hearts of Mommy (Linda) and Daddy.
A donation was made in the name of Teresa in loving memory of her baby who was recently miscarried at 11 weeks after a long struggle with infertility. Teresa had complications throughout the pregnancy that resulted in bed rest before the baby was lost.
In Joyful Celebration of: Kelsey Anne Aylard, born September 20, 1996 after a long struggle with infertility and previous miscarriage. Tom, Kay Lynn, and big brother Christopher (who joined the family through the gift of adoption last fall) thank the Lord for Kelsey!
I offer my sincerest apologies to the families who have been awaiting memorial but do not find them listed. If I have lost your memorial, please send it again. Your babies are important to us and they are precious to God. May we all keep these grieving families (listed and not) in our prayers throughout the holiday season.
It has come to our attention that we printed the wrong zip code on our last issue of this newsletter. The correct address is Hannah's Prayer, PO Box 5016, Auburn, California 95604-5016. Please check your address books to be sure you have the right zip! We apologize for any confusion this mistake may have caused.
Christian Books on Infertility, Loss, and Grief:
· When the Womb is Empty by Ray and Rebecca Larson: infertility (including adoption resources).
· Brave New Families: Biblical Ethics and Reproductive Technologies by Scott B. Ray: applying Biblical principles when trying to make wise choices regarding infertility treatments.
· 1250 Health Care Questions Women Ask by Dr. Joe S. McIlhaney, Jr. (Christian OB/GYN): medical information on my women's health issues including an extensive section on infertility.
· The Ache for a Child by Debra Bridwell: excellent spiritual, and emotional insights for infertility and pregnancy loss.
· *When A Husband is Infertile: Options for the Christian Couple by Byron C. Calhoun, M.D.: male factor infertility.
· The Toughest Days of Grief by Meg Woodson: holidays, birthdays, anniversaries of loss, dealing with the death of children.
· I'll Hold You In Heaven by Pastor Jack Hayford: miscarriage, stillbirth, infant death, and abortion; Biblical assurance when a baby dies, and understandable answers to the theological questions. A great "first book" to read after loss.
· A Deeper Shade of Grace by Bernadette Keaggy: recurrent pregnancy loss, loss of multiples (triplets), and infant death.
· Empty Arms by Pam Vredevelt (this same title is also used by other authors): tubal pregnancy, miscarriage, or stillbirth.
· Free to Grieve by Maureen Rank: miscarriage and stillbirth
· When Good-bye is Forever: Learning to Live Again After the Loss of a Child by John Bramblett (bereaved father): accidental death of a young child
· Roses In December by Marilyn W. Heavilin: repeated loss, early infant death, loss of a twin, crib death, older child loss.
· *Misty, Our Momentary Child by Carole Gift Page: pregnancy with a known fatal birth defect and subsequent early infant loss.
 | As far as we know, this book is out of print, but look for it in libraries or bookstore clearance tables. |
Support Group Information:
Hannah's Prayer currently has 4 chapters, located in northern California and in Florida. Please contact us if you are in these areas and would like to become involved with your local group.
HP chapter host, JoAnne Nootbaar (CA002), would like to be available to talk with couples needing encouragement and support facing IVF, ICSI, frozen embryos, or secondary infertility. Their daughter was born in '89 and son (result of ICSI) this year after several years of secondary infertility. They also have 11 more embryos frozen for future transfer. If you would like to take with JoAnne, please contact her at 827 Mayo Court, Benicia, CA 94510, (707)746-5496 <mikenootbaar@value.net>
Other (non-HP) support groups:
| In the Southwest Dallas County area, contact Rachel Staalsen at Faith Bible Church 223-0000 for information on a Christian women's infertility, miscarriage and adoption support group meeting at 7PM every 2nd and 4th Tuesday of the month. |
| Caleb Cares offers Christian support to women who have experienced infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth, or early infant death (up to 1 year). Their book, "Morning Will Come" is available for $8.50 (US) from PO Box 470093, Charlotte, NC 28247 (704)846-5372 |
| H.A.N.D. (Houston's Aid in Neonatal Death) is a peer support group for parents who have lost a baby at any time from conception to late infancy. They meet all around the Houston area, including special meetings for subsequent pregnancy after loss, and parents who have lost a twin, twins, or other multiples. (713)529-4661 answering machine - calls returned within 24 hours. |
Father, today I feel discouraged. Christmas is approaching and I
Feel like retreating and letting it pass by without harming me.
I wish Christmas didn't mean family, for without a family I feel alone.
No excitement on Christmas morning as children tear into their presents.
No toys scattered under the tree; unwrapped toys that Santa left.
No squeals of joy as a child discovers that Santa heard his wishes.
We're spending it with a family with one child and another on the way.
I feel that they truly are a family, and I feel jealous that they are blessed.
My "child" is getting a rawhide bone and a bright orange squeaky baseball.
I love him - but at this time of year he seems completely inadequate.
I see parents out pushing carts that are filled to the top with exciting toys
And I remember last year, and the years before when I thought...next year it'll be me.
Every year I remember a blessed little soul who was inside me for a few weeks and I wonder
What it would be like if he were here to celebrate Christmas with us.
He'd be over two years old now so he'd be excited by the Christmas tree
Surrounded by bright colored packages that he would rip into on Christmas morn.
So, for Christmas Father, I ask for healing for a broken heart and body.
That next year I might celebrate the birth of your son with a birth of my own.
- Jane Simeone, 12/95
Happy Holidays?
Celebrate the holidays in whatever way you think will work for you. Be where you want to be, do what you want to do, with anyone you like. Lots of people, not just those who are grieving, set themselves up for a lot of aggravation every winter by trying to meet everyone else's expectations. Don't be afraid to say "no" whenever you need to. The first time is the hardest.
Think carefully, though, about scrapping all of your holiday traditions. Some may be just habits, without a lot of personal meaning, so eliminate those if you like. But other traditions may bring you a sense of comfort and continuity, so you should consider keeping those. For example, my tree ornaments and other decorations are almost all gifts from friends, handmade, or family heirlooms. I would put up my tree in October if I could, because with each ornament, I remember someone who cares about me. That ritual gives me a lot of comfort.
You might also think about creating a new tradition this year. If the tree is too much for you, maybe you could set up a crèche. Choose to fast for all or part of the day. If your gift list is long, think about cutting it back, and focus on quality of the gifts rather than quantity. Only give gifts that will fit into a stocking. Write letters of thanks to those who have nurtured you during this year. Create something special for the holiday like a poem, a painting, a quilt, a song. Listen to music that uplifts you. Read your favorite Bible passages to each other. Commit some money or time to a charity.
Christmas will keep coming no matter what you do. It won't stop if you take the trappings away. You decide what will enhance its meaning for you. God gives strength to the weary! (Isaiah 40: 28-31) -- Cheryl Haimann
Pen-Pals Connection:
| Karen & Chad Owen, 31 Pendleton Lane, Londonderry, NH 03053 would like to correspond with other Christians facing infertility as a result of PCO. |
| Lori Farnsworth, 708 1/2 Hauthoren Ave., South Milwaukee, WI 53172 has PCO and Endometriosis. She would like to correspond with any other Christians dealing with infertility, especially anyone in Wisconsin. |
| Rosalinda Martinusen, 11308 Cecilia Street, Norwalk, CA 90650 is 29 years old and has been dealing with infertility for 4 years, including some failed IVF cycles. She would like to hear from anyone in similar circumstances and is also looking for support in the LA area. |
Jenni's Journal:
(Thoughts from Hannah's Prayer Director, Jennifer Saake)
I have already shared some thought with you in the opening of this letter, but this is my place to share straight from my heart to yours. It has been 6 months since I have taken the time to write my journal article, and almost every letter I get from long-time Hannah's Prayer members contains the same questions of "How are you?" and "What is happening?" It is a blessing to have so many loving, caring friends thinking of me and upholding me in prayer. I will start by sharing our infertility information, then update you on some exciting Hannah's Prayer growth, and close by sharing my reflections on Christmas.
We are still waiting on God to bless us with a child. This past year has brought with it the confirmation of my PCO (Polycystic Ovaries) diagnosis, and this condition has continued to worsen to the point where I am now on 6 months of birth control pills (a very emotional step after 4 years of infertility!) to rest my ovaries so that I might have a chance to conceive in the future. At this point ovulation seems impossible, even with fertility medications unless my cysts start to clear. I am taking the medication Aldactone in hopes of lowering my extremely high Free Testosterone levels that seem to be a result of the PCO. Another result of the PCO is an imbalance in my LH/FSH ratio. My doctor says that having an LH of 2 times your FSH is indicative of PCO. My LH is more than 4 times my FSH! No wonder we are having problems getting pregnant!!! It has also come to light that I was most likely exposed to DES during my mother's pregnancy, although we have not been able to absolutely confirm this. During this 6 months on birth control (2 months down, 4 left to go) we are trying to deal with my CFIDS and I am currently trying a new treatment that is being studied, so we are hopeful, but waiting to see what happens. I would appreciate your prayers for my health, that I may be able to trust to God's wisdom, and for us to have peace about whatever direction He leads us in the months to come.
Other news includes the birth of my second nephew right before Father's Day in June. This was a struggle for me as Drew's birth fell on the heals of yet another failed adoption attempt (a story for another day). I was so hurt that God would bless my brother's family yet again when we were still struggling to bring even one child into our home. I allowed a wall of jealousy and bitterness to build between myself and my dear brother and sister-in-law. I wanted to be happy for them, but instead I shut them out, along with both of their wonderful boys.
It was at the recent announcement of Rick's brother and sister-in-law (expecting their first baby 4/97), that God really convicted my heart that I could not continue to carry such resentment! If I truly believe that children are a blessing, how can I shut out my own precious nephews. It is a process that I am still working through, but I have asked my brother and sister-in-law to forgive me, and I have decided that I am not going to let my ache for a child rob me of the joy of being involved in the lives of 2 little children. There is still pain there, as I suppose there always might be, but God is working healing and reconciliation in my heart and our relationships, so I praise Him for this blessing! Rick and I are eagerly awaiting the arrival of our newest niece or nephew this Spring. We know that this blessing will at times be a reminder of our pain, but we will hurt no matter how we react, so we think it is better to let ourselves risk loving the children that God has blessed us with through extended family, and face that pain, than to create a pain much harder to bear and that will lead to a life-time of regrets.
The highlight of Hannah's Prayer news is the wonderful meeting that the HP Board of Directors had in August. I finally had the blessing of meeting the founders of "Stepping Stones" (Christian infertility newsletter) and Debra Bridwell (author of The Ache for a Child ) in person after many, many months of letters and phone calls. The board meeting was an all day event, with much laughter, joy, and sharing, mixed with incredible hard work, tough issues, and searching for ways to minister effectively to hurting hearts. The following day we held a picnic for anyone involved in Hannah's Prayer in the northern California area, including our 3 local chapters. The entire time was incredible! Our current board members are Rev. Ralph Camp, Leslie Snodgrass, Debra Bridwell, and myself. We are each serving as your Board members for 3 year terms.
| Don't try to brave the malls for Christmas shopping (unless you can go with another person who is dealing with infertility or loss), but try to do your shopping through catalogs or other ways to avoid seeing all the lines of children waiting to see Santa. |
| Keep things simple!!! Sit down and look at what is important to you, then cut out anything that is just a useless drain of your energy and emotional resources. For example, does your Christmas card list need to be so long this year? |
| Don't try to pretend that everything is O.K., if it isn't. This doesn't mean that you have to make others around you miserable, but it is fine to be "real" and allow yourself time to deal with your pain during a season when everyone is expected to be jolly. |
| It is a good idea to prepare yourself for the situations (including other's pregnancy announcements) you might face or the questions you might be asked. As much as possible, try to decide in advance who you are willing to confide your pain in, to what degree, and how you will handle the general insensitive questions, difficult situations, and awkward social stumbles of others. Rehearsing your responses will not totally prevent unplanned tears or off guard moments, but it will help some. |
| If you are childless, spend at least part of the season in adult only activities...a trip for 2, or even just a quiet dinner together in the midst of holiday craziness. If possible, get together with at least one other couple experiencing the same pain this year. |
| Either separately, or together, have each family member take some time to write down their feelings on infertility or the child who has proceeded them to Heaven, as well as things that they can thank God for, then take some time to share your letters, tears, and commit all your pain together to God in payer. (This is useful for a family or 2 or a family with some living children.) |
| If you have lost a child, you might wish to buy a special ornament for your baby this year and have it engraved with your child's name and any relevant dates (miscarriage, due date, birth, death). We bought an ornament for Noel last Christmas, and when I packed up the rest of the decorations, I left hers out, hanging in our living room all this past year. |
I share my last tip in the form of a devotional message rather than just adding it as a final attachment to the above list. The tip is "Put the focus of Christmas in the right place." A couple of years ago, I felt that the reason I struggled so much with the Christmas season might be that I was putting more emphasis on the cultural and traditional significance than on the spiritual. My heart was in the right place as we only minimally decorated our home without tree, Santa, or much commercialized fluff, and set up our nativity scene as the central focus. Actually that sounds much more pious that it truly was, for it was a struggle for me to put up any decorations at all that year, so hurt was I from the pain of having no children in our home to celebrate with us. But when we tried to focus only on the spiritual aspects of Advent and get rid of all else, we were surprised by our mixed reactions. I am very glad that we tried it that way for one year, because it helped us decide what was least meaningful to us, and what traditions were important to keep in the future, but it was also a painful lesson to learn.
While there were some blessing to come out of such a focus, we hurt ourselves in two ways that year. The first reason such a decision was more harmful than helpful was because throwing away so many traditions left us grieving even more for the security of those traditions we had always known and found comfort in. As Cheryl pointed out in the "Happy Holidays?" article, it is important to think carefully about what things will bring you comfort before you get rid of all past traditions. The second, and more devastating reason that our new "spiritual focus" was so hurtful, was once we had stripped away all the tinsel, all we were left with was, of all things, the story of a BABY! Now, I will be the first to argue, that the Christmas story is precious, and sacred, and that Jesus was so much more than any other baby, but it just didn't seem right that in trying to find the true meaning of Christmas we should be asked to share in the joy and celebration of another child's birth when our pain over not having our baby with us was so great!
Within Hannah's Prayer, we are each facing different sorrows. Some of us have never been pregnant (and maybe even know that medically we never will have that blessing). Others have some living children and are struggling to increase their families. Some have lost one or more babies either during pregnancy or after birth. Even though our experiences differ, we can probably all relate to the pain that another's baby can bring to us at times. Let me leave you with the challenge to take your eyes *off* of baby Jesus this year. Before you think I've lost my mind, let me encourage you to direct your focus instead on the purpose that baby Jesus came to fulfill, Look to His adult ministry, the atoning gift of the cross, and the joy of the empty grave! This year we know what traditions are unimportant to us, and we won't bother with them, but we will decorate our house with the comforting traditions that we so love, like our tree with a million little lights,. We also plan to add an empty cross to our nativity scene. To help yourself find the right focus this year, ask yourself, "If Jesus had not have come, where would I be today? If God's grace did not sustain me, how would I face the daily pain of infertility/loss?" Each one of you is on my heart and in my prayers as you face this season. May you feel the comforting hand of our Savior walking with you each day and throughout the coming year.
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Hannah's Prayer is a California based, non-profit 501(c)(3)
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Christians (from a range of denominational backgrounds) and have personal
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