Hannah To Hannah

May 2003 All rights reserved. Copyright ©2003. Issue #40

Providing "Christian Support for Fertility Challenges"
including infertility or the loss of a child at any time from conception through early infancy.

A monthly publication of Hannah's Prayer Ministries. 

This month's topic:
Mother's Day & Female Issues

Table of Contents

“Sisterhood of Suffering” by Jill Amack, Hannah to Hannah Editor

New Support in Springfield, Missouri

“Angel” poem about desire for motherhood by LaRanda Clayton

H2H Spotlight On: Kim Conger Interview with Hannah's Prayer General Director

“The Day I Hate Most of All” Mother's Day poem by Susan Reardon

Helpful Web Links  

Encouraging Words

Upcoming Events

2003 Hannah to Hannah Topics

Newsletter Submission & Reprint Information

Sisterhood of Suffering
 Copyright ã 2003 Jill Amack, Editor of Hannah to Hannah 

I went to the doctor the other day, a new one in a long line of competent professionals that aren’t sure what to do with me.  With the ethereal backdrop of the Rocky Mountains behind me, I walked toward the medical office building on a sunny spring day.  I followed a mother and baby into the building, feeling that familiar pang as I watched them.  By God’s grace, it is no longer the gaping wound it once was—more like a finger prick for a blood test: small and quick, but still surprisingly painful.

As we neared the elevator, I could hear the mother talking baby talk.  When she saw that I overheard, she apologized and blushed.  “Not at all,” I said.  “I would too if I had a little girl.”  She had the look of a recently maternal professional with her office-pale skin, dark-rimmed glasses, and stylish clothes; she seemed like someone who had waited for a long time for the child in her arms.  “She’s such a gift,” the mother gushed.

The baby, a beautiful African-American girl of maybe nine months, smiled shyly at me and her dimples became apparent.  “She’s precious,” I said.

I wanted to say more.  I wanted to tell her that I knew what her struggle had been.  That even though our paths were probably not identical, I could empathize with the difficulties she’d been through.  But as the doors opened and she headed for the pediatrician’s office, I turned the other direction to address the ever-present problems of PCOS and endometriosis that God has allowed in my life. 

When I thought about it later, I marveled in the immediate connection I felt with her in the short time we were in the elevator.  And I marveled again at the magnificent plan my Heavenly Father unfolds daily in my life.  I find this to be true again and again as I meet members of Hannah’s Prayer.  The underlying connection of suffering that we share creates a sisterhood that is unique in this life.  Katie from the book “Stepping Heavenward” puts it this way: 

“I have been sick, and I know what sorrow means.  And I’m glad that I do.  For I have learned Christ in that school, and I know that He can comfort when no one else can” (Ó 1995 Solid Rock Publishing, by Elizabeth Prentiss, p. 160). 

Increasingly, I find that the path of suffering is the same lesson in different forms.  The Lord asks me (and I’m sure He asks you, too): Will you trust Me?  Will you obey Me?  Will you love Me?  In this I find the crux of my existence and the means to serve Him in this life.  But I do not walk alone in my hurting.  Psalm 73:23-26 says:

“Nevertheless, I am continually with Thee; Thou hast taken hold of my right hand.
With Thy counsel Thou wilt guide me, and afterward receive me to glory.
Whom have I in heaven but Thee?
And besides Thee, I desire nothing on earth.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” 

            In the coming months, you’ll have the opportunity to meet the members of the Hannah’s Prayer Board through this newsletter.  You’ll find that they have walked a familiar path of affliction and longing.  Their story may not be just like yours, but their desire for children and their efforts to serve the Lord will resonate.  Finding a connection with others who have suffered this way—and seeing God’s faithfulness in their lives—is a blessed reminder to us that we never walk alone. 

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Congratulations to Dedee Moore!
New Hannah's Prayer Area Contact
 

Dedee has been approved as a new area contact for the Springfield, Missouri, area.  She is the Founder and Director of Heartbeat Ministry, a support group for families dealing with infertility and/or pregnancy loss.  Heartbeat Ministry is an extension of Stonebridge Church in Springfield.  If you would like to speak with Dedee, please use the following contact information:

Dedee Moore

E-mail:    heartbeatministry@earthlink.net

Phone numbers: 417-818-1313 or 417-823-7758

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Angel
 By HP member LaRanda Clayton

I long to hold you in my arms,

Your fresh new face to see,

To feel your heart beat on it’s own,

A baby just for me,

A soul from God that He will send,

A heart of His to loan,

For us to raise from infancy,

Until the day that you are grown,

But when will he send you to us?

When will our hearts be glad?

When will we get a child of our own

Just like everyone else has?

To hear that first cry,

To see those first steps,

How special that would be,

To watch the face of daddy

As he boasts of what he sees,

Maybe we’ve waited too long,

Maybe he’s given you to another,

Maybe we just need patience

And someday I’ll be your Mother,

I know in my heart you are out there,

In time, I’ll get my chance,

To love you as no other,

My life will be all yours, with just one glance,

Hurry to me, Angel,

My arms are waiting still,

And then I’ll be a Mother,

If this is what God wills. 

LaRanda Clayton lives in Hope, Arkansas.  She and her husband have been trying to conceive for three years. She has been diagnosed as anovulatory. She was also diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA), and though it does not cause any problems with infertility, the treatment options for RA have to be all but stopped to try to have a baby.  LaRanda says:  

“Yet through all of this God has given me assurance that it is in His will for me to have my children, just at His time. I am prepared to wait it out until He says I'm ready.  This poem is a letter I wrote to my unborn child. I wrote it one day as I struggled with ‘Why? Why wouldn't God give me my heart's desire?’ One day I will have the pleasure of sharing with my children the story of my struggles with infertility and how they are all the more special because of it.  God has used this struggle to teach me that I can't do everything alone. I used to have the mentality that I could handle anything. Infertility taught me to depend on God. Christ is sufficient!” 

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HP Spotlight On: Kim Conger
Interview with Hannah's Prayer General Director
 Edited by Jill Amack

This month, we visit with Kim Conger, HP’s new General Director.  Kim has been married to Doug since March 28, 1987, and they have three children through the blessing of adoption: Kyle – 12 years old (who joined the family at 5 days old), Tina – 9 years old (who joined the family at age 4), and Ray – 8 years old (who joined the family at age 3).  They live with two cats, one puppy, a parrot, and a rabbit in Pearland, Texas, which is near Houston.  They are members of the First Baptist Church in Pearland.

What position do you hold in HP leadership?

General Director, a/k/a "The buck stops here!" :o)

What are your responsibilities?

I am the overseer of all ministry outreaches.  In the most basic terms, my job is to coordinate the leaders of each separate ministry within HP to try to assure that all the various aspects of Hannah's Prayer flow smoothly in striving to reach the goal of providing support and encouragement to all members.  As quoted from our website, Hannah's Prayer "is overseen by the Board of Directors who work with the General Director to manage Hannah's Prayer, make decisions, keep ministry focused, address issues, set policy, uphold ministry in prayer and attend annual meetings. The Board prayerfully seeks to guide the ministry and assure that Hannah's Prayer is achieving the goals we set out to accomplish."  While I don't "run" everything, I prayerfully "manage" those who do, helping to assure that each branch of HP is striving to fulfill our ministry goal in day-to-day ministry.

 
What do you enjoy most about serving through HP?

Seeing God perform miracles, heal broken hearts, encouraging & praying for others, and seeing the special bond the HP ladies have for one another.

 
Please briefly share your personal experiences with fertility challenges.

At the age of seven, I was diagnosed with Type I diabetes which was severe and brittle. In my teen years, the doctors began to tell me that I probably would not be able to have children, due to the danger to the baby and/or to myself. I feel blessed to have known before I began to "dream" about how my life would be. My Mom has always said, "You can be a mommy, you can adopt," so it was just the way my future husband and me would become parents. As I got a little older, I began to worry whether I would find a husband who would be willing to marry me because I was unable to give birth. In 1986 God blessed me with a dear man who loved me and loved the idea of adoption!

We began the adoption process with excitement!  But we soon found out that it may not be an easy journey. We had many disappointments being turned away from adoption agencies. Some were not accepting new "clients," some didn't feel they could match our needs. It was heart wrenching to be turned away. I began to question God, thinking "Maybe He doesn't want us to adopt" I felt as though I had fooled myself all these years into thinking I could become a Mommy through adoption.

And then, we finally were "accepted" by an agency and within a year we brought home our first-born son, Kyle. Praise God, He did have a good plan for us! In 1998, not pursuing adoption, we received a call about two toddlers, ages 3 & 4! Within two weeks, we had two more children, Tina and Ray. God has truly blessed us.

How do you feel that your experiences with infertility or loss have prepared you for this ministry?

Because I know the pain, the loss of not being able to give birth. The loss of having control over the building of my own family. I have also learned that God is faithful and we have to completely surrender to Him and trust His Will for our lives. To know that He does have a perfect plan for each of us. It may not be the same plan as our friend or neighbor, but it is the perfect one for us ;o)

What specifically drew you to become a Board Member of HP?

After much prayer and consideration, I felt called to join the team. I'm honored to have the privilege to serve in Hannah's Prayer Ministries. As God remains the head of this ministry, we are to seek His Will and be obedient to carry out the plans He has for HP.

How are you involved in your church?

I teach a 15-week bible study based on Isaiah 61:1-11. It is a very intense study on finding JOY and healing from depression, anger, bitterness, sadness, etc. through the love of Christ.  I am also currently enrolled in a study through the American Association of Christian Counselors to become a certified Christian Counselor.

Please tell about a valuable lesson God has taught you:

To TRUST Him, to seek His guidance, and to be obedient. I have to often me reminded of this lesson.  If I call upon Him, Let Him guide my life, all will be well because He cares for me and will never leave nor forsake me!

Please tell about a trial that became a blessing to you:

In 1999, I had a heart attack.  At that time in my life, I was not in a close relationship with God. A few months after the heart attack, I went into a deep depression, very angry with God for letting me have a heart attack. I was so full of despair, anxiety, fear, hopelessness, and overwhelming sadness. I felt my life was over. One day, I got in my car and drove to a church in my community. Walked in the door, and just fell on the floor and began to cry. One of the pastors came out and talked with me, then prayed for me. He showed me that it was me that had walked away from God; God had not gone anywhere!

I began the journey to healing through the love of Jesus Christ. He replaced my brokenness with a life of JOY, faith, and trust in God. The heart attack was a fearful time in my life but it helped me to see my need to come back to Christ and let Him take over my life.

Please briefly share how and when you became a Christian.

I was 10 years old when I accepted Christ, I know that at that moment my life had changed but didn't fully recognize all that God was willing to give me as part of His gift of salvation. I spent many years away from Christ. In 1999 I renewed my relationship with God and stand in awe of His unconditional love and patience he has for me.

What is your favorite book in the Bible?  

Isaiah

What is your favorite (or lifetime) verse?

John 3:16
"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

Tell us about a good book you've read lately:

“Let's Roll” by Lisa Beamer

What do you do for fun in your “spare” time?    

I like to read, and I love going to museums and the zoo.

Do you have any words of advice or encouragement to H2H readers?

So often we get so tired of "fighting the fight" we want to give up. Month after month, the battle seems endless. We can give up...we need to give up…to Christ and only to Christ.
Give Him all our burdens, each day we need to start out by surrendering our life, our infertility to Christ. Lay it at His feet as each new day begins.  

If you have questions, comments, or ideas for Kim, please contact her by e-mail at: KimConger@hannah.org.

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The Day I Hate Most of All
By Susan Reardon

Some days I’ve learned to dread

More than all the rest,

Difficult to get through

I try my very best.

The day I hate most of all

Always comes in May,

It happens each and every year

We call it Mother’s Day.

In church they’re given flowers

At home a handmade card,

Dad making everyone some lunch

Kids playing in the yard.

Reminds me what I do not have

Instead of what I do,

A little one to give a hug

And say, “Mom, I love you.”

Tomorrow I will live again

Just let me mourn this day,

I pray that I can make it

Through another Mother’s Day.

Susan Reardon has been married and trying to conceive for 5 1/2 years.  She was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome in 2000, and after several years of fertility treatments she and her husband have decided to stop and save up for adoption.  Susan says, “I would have never made it through without God's love and ever-amazing support from friends and family.”  Susan lives in Rochester, New York.  

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Helpful Web Links

But first, a correction:  Last month I highlighted one of the LIW email lists, mentioning "40 email groups" and linking readers to an old Yahoo group.  We no longer have ANY Yahoo email lists.  All the email groups have been transferred to our community forums message boards groups.  In addition, we now have nearly 80 groups to choose from!  All are listed at www.hannah.org/ministries/liw.htm.

  In this month that focuses on mothers, you might want to spend a little time on our website for encouragement.  Check out our "Holiday Helps" page at http://www.hannah.org/resources/holiday.htm, specifically the Mother's Day section.  

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Encouraging Words
"Abide With Me"
a hymn by Henry F. Lyte, 1847
Reprinted with permission from the Cyber Hymnal at: http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/a/b/abidewme.htm

Lyte was inspired to write this hymn as he was dying of tu­ber­cu­lo­sis; he fin­ished it the Sun­day he gave his fare­well ser­mon in the par­ish he served so ma­ny years.  The next day, he left for Italy to re­gain his health.  He didn’t make it, though—he died in Nice, France, three weeks af­ter writ­ing these words.  Here is an ex­cerpt from his fare­well ser­mon:

  O breth­ren, I stand here among you today, as alive from the dead, if I may hope to im­press it upon you, and in­duce you to pre­pare for that sol­emn hour which must come to all, by a time­ly ac­quaint­ance with the death of Christ. 

For more than a century, the bells of his church at All Saints in Lower Brix­ham, Devonshire, have rung out “Abide with Me” daily.  The hymn was sung at the wed­ding of King George VI of Britain, and at the wed­ding of his daugh­ter, the fu­ture Queen Elizabeth II. 

“Abide with me: fast falls the eventide;
the darkness deepens; Lord with me abide.
>When other helpers fail and comforts flee,
Help of the helpless, O abide with me.

I need Thy presence every passing hour.
What but Thy grace can foil the tempter’s power?
Who, like Thyself, my guide and stay can be?
Through cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me.

I fear no foe, with Thee at hand to bless;
Ills have no weight, and tears no bitterness.
Where is death’s sting? Where, grave, thy victory?
I triumph still, if Thou abide with me.

Hold Thou Thy cross before my closing eyes;
Shine through the gloom and point me to the skies.
Heaven’s morning breaks, and earth’s vain shadows flee;
In life, in death, O Lord, abide with me.” 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

If you have an encouraging quote that has especially challenged you,

please e-mail Jill at newsletter@hannah.org so that we may consider

it for an upcoming issue of “Hannah to Hannah.”  

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Upcoming Events
Is your organization sponsoring an infertility, adoption, or infant loss seminar?
If so, please e-mail Jill at newsletter@hannah.org so that we may consider
your announcement for an upcoming issue of "Hannah to Hannah."

Hannah's Prayer is not directly related to, nor has any financial interest in, these organizations.
We prayerfully list them to help you find other resources that may be of blessing or encouragement to you.

DOWNTOWN DROP-IN SUPPORT GROUP
Share information, hopes, concerns, and frustrations in a safe, caring atmosphere.
3rd Thursday of each month (January - December)
7:00 - 9:00 p.m.
No charge.
Individuals and couples welcome.
Location: Women's Health Centre, 790 Bay St. (at College), 8th floor, Toronto.
Parking on south side of building.
A joint program of the Infertility Network & the Women's Health Centre.

Info:
Infertility Network, 160 Pickering St., Toronto, M4E 3J7
Ph: 416-691-3611, F: 416-690-8015, Info@Infertility Network, http://www.InfertilityNetwork.org

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Pregnancy and Infant Loss Parent Support Group in Glendale, California

Fourth Thursday of every month

7:30pm – 9:30 pm at Verdugo Hills Hospital

Main Entrance, 4^th Floor, Council Rooms

1812 Verdugo Blvd., Glendale, California

The Pregnancy and Infant Loss Group of Verdugo Hills Chapter of The Compassionate Friends, is for parents who are grieving the loss of a baby through ectopic pregnancy, miscarriage, stillbirth, newborn or early infant death.  Mothers and fathers are invited to attend alone or with their partner.  We will meet on the same dates and times as the general Compassionate Friend meetings, but in an adjacent room.  For more information please call (818) 957-0254 or contact Susan tcfsgh@pacbell.net.

-----------------------

Infertility & Adoption Group

3438 E. Ashlan Avenue

Fresno, California 93726-3597

For more information, please contact Pete and Linda Weller at 226-4100.

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Infertility Support Group

Last Friday of every month

7:00 pm at the First United Methodist Church

72 Lake Morton Drive

Lakeland, Florida 33801

Phone contact:  First UMC Counseling Office (863) 644-8241

Please call to confirm time and location.  Should you require further information or confirmation, please contact Laurie Busey at greggbuseyz@yahoo.com or phone (863) 644-1507.  

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Infertility Support Group

Meeting times: to be determined

Sheffield Family Life Center Church

5700 Winner Road

Kansas City, Missouri

Contact: Terri Bennett

(816) 220-9823

nealandterri@yahoo.com

The Sheffield Family Life Center Church has built a new building and expanded its programs to include a new ministry called, "The Refuge.”  They are starting a Christian support group for those experiencing infertility, unwanted childlessness, and other related issues.  The name of the support group is, "Light On The Path.”  The groups will meet monthly for support and there will also be special events (adoption panels, etc.).  There are brochures available if you would like to have a copy e-mailed or mailed to you.  The group may meet at the church or in Terri’s home.  Please contact Terri if you are interested in attending. 

-----------------

Glory Babies

Every third Tuesday, 6:30 p.m.

Grace’s Women’s Center

235 S. Broadway

Tyler, Texas  

Glory Babies, a Christ-centered care group for men and women who are grieving the loss of a child during pregnancy or infancy.  We meet every 3rd Tuesday at 6:30 p.m. at Grace’s Women’s Center downtown on Broadway.  It is located at 235 S. Broadway just north of Front Street (next to the Expert Tire) and it has green awnings over the windows.  For further information contact Jennifer at (903) 939-1548 or glorybabies@dctexas.net.

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Has God given you something to share that you think would minister to others?  “Hannah to Hannah” is written by, for, and about “modern-day Hannahs” – couples facing fertility challenges.  You are welcome to submit original thoughts, stories, poems, scripture passages, favorite quotes, book reviews, pen-pal requests, baby memorials or celebration announcements, fertility–related humor, or other articles to this newsletter.  When sending a submission, please be sure to let us know that the information you are sending is intended for publication consideration.  Due to space limitation, we are unable to include all submissions, while some submissions may be edited or filed for future use.  Contact Editor Jill at newsletter@hannah.org for more information.

July 2003 - Multiples
submissions by June 15, 2003

August 2003 – Diagnosis and Treatment – submissions by July 15, 2003

September 2003 – Infertility Awareness Month – submissions by August 15, 2003

October 2003 – Pregnancy Loss Month, Thanksgiving – submissions by September 15, 2003

November 2003 – Adoption Awareness Month – submissions by October 15, 2003

December 2003 – Christmas and Holiday Coping – submissions by November 15, 2003

All submissions to the newsletter (whether by snail mail or e-mail) must include the following information:
-        Full name
-        Address
-        City, State Zip
-        Phone number
-        E-mail address
-        Has this work been published previously?  Yes          No  
-        (If yes, please provide publisher's name and address)
-        Does H2H have your permission to use this work in the newsletter?  Yes   No
-        OPTIONAL short biography about your infertility journey

If you have several submissions (example: sending one e-mail with several poems attached or mailing several poems in one envelope) each individual submission must include this information.  Submissions not including this information will not be used in H2H.  Thank you for your assistance with this policy!

Hannah’s Prayer is an international, interdenominational, Christian support network for couples that have experienced or are experiencing “fertility challenges,” including, but not limited to, primary and secondary infertility and all stages of pregnancy/early infancy loss. Hannah’s Prayer attempts the meet the mental, emotional, and spiritual needs of couples experiencing fertility-related difficulties through prayer, understanding, love, friendship, shared information, Biblical counsel, and godly wisdom. We offer this monthly newsletter, Hannah to Hannah, along with many other resources, such as: our Web site, chat room, e-mail groups, pen pals, and local contact people throughout the United States and around the world. 

Because we understand that fertility challenges may cause financial suffering in addition to spiritual, emotional, and physical pain, we are committed to not charging membership or subscription fees for our services. The gifts of those who are able to contribute to the ongoing needs of this ministry are our only regular source of income. Their gifts are greatly appreciated and prayerfully used. This ministry has a “debt-free” policy and is only able to provide services as funds permit. Hannah’s Prayer Ministries, Inc., is a nonprofit 501 (c)(3) corporation. 

Guidelines for Reprinting from this Newsletter

For an individual organization to reprint an article first published in the Hannah to Hannah newsletter, permission must be received in writing from the Hannah to Hannah editor or the specific article’s author. The reprint on any article from this newsletter must include a printed mention of when and where the article first appeared and the mailing address of Hannah’s Prayer. Example: 
“The Waterfall” by April Whiddon Matthews has been reprinted by permission and first appeared in the Spring 1997 issue of Hannah to Hannah, the newsletter of Hannah’s Prayer, P.O. Box 168, Hanford, CA 93232-0168.

A copy of the publication in which the Hannah to Hannah article is reprinted is to be sent to Hannah’s Prayer within one month of publication. 

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Ministries About Hannah's Prayer Resources

Hannah's Prayer Ministries
www.hannah.org
PO Box 168
Hanford, California 93232-0168
USA

E-Mail: Hannahs@Hannah.org

Voice Mail / Fax: (775)852-9202

Hannah's Prayer is a California based, non-profit 501(c)(3) organization, established Jan 1, 1995. All staff members are unpaid volunteers who are proclaiming Christians (from a range of denominational backgrounds) and have personal experience with the heartache of fertility challenges.  This ministry and website are made possible by your tax deductible contributions.

This web site was established in April, 1996.  For website related issues, please contact the Hannah's Prayer website administrator, Jill Sherbrooke.  The Hannah's Prayer logo was designed exclusively for Hannah's Prayer by Rick Saake.  Hannah's Prayer pages are Copyrighted. © 1996-2004, Hannah's Prayer Ministries. All rights reserved.