Hannah To Hannah
November 2002 All rights reserved. Copyright ©2002. Issue #34
Providing "Christian
Support for Fertility Challenges"
including infertility or the loss of a
child at any time from conception through early infancy.
A monthly publication of Hannah's Prayer Ministries.
This month's topic:
Adoption Awareness Month
Growing Pains: Changes Within Hannah's Prayer Hannah's Prayer Interim Director, Julie Donahue
"Why Do We Do It?" Foster Parenting Resigning Hannah's Prayer Director, Stephanie Bixler
Just a Word Adoption Poem, Father's Perspective
Day-by-Day Journal of Ukrainian Adoption
Newsletter Submission & Reprint Information
Growing Pains:
Changes
Within Hannah's Prayer
Copyright © 2002. Julie Donahue, Interim Director of Hannah's Prayer
Growth, while expected and desired, is almost always accompanied by pain. Hannah's Prayer Ministries is now experiencing some growing pains. We know that God is working in and through us, but it doesn't make the process any easier. But most of growth has been the kind we all hope for.
Currently, the Hannah's Prayer Board is made up of 4 people: Stephanie Bixler, Jenni Saake, Ralph Camp (Jenni's Dad) and myself. In the past month, Ralph lost his father (and, unfortunately, I know how much that causes a person to grow). Most of you know that Jenni is currently more than halfway through her pregnancy her with second child (after many years of infertility and multiple losses). Jenni is having complications with the pregnancy and will most likely have to remain on bed rest until her February 2003 due date. I have recently learned that, after 11 1/2 years of infertility (and one adoption), God is adding a new child to our family in June. Stephanie, who has served as Hannah's Prayers' General Director for the past 18 months, is experiencing growth in all areas of her life: the company she and her husband both work for is booming; the "small" home business they have is suddenly growing by leaps and bounds; and their once empty home has been filled with foster children. You can read Steph's article in this month's issue to learn about her family.
Due to the changes in Stephanie's family and business life, she
has requested to be released from her duties as Hannah's Prayer Director. This
change will take place at our Hannah's Prayer Board meeting next spring, but we
have approved a leave of absence effective immediately. I have agreed to
step up as the Interim Director until the Board meeting where a new Director
will be named. Please keep us in your prayers. Some specific ways
you can pray for us:
1. Wisdom in selecting the new Director of Hannah's Prayer.
2. That the Lord will raise up strong new leadership for the board meeting
in April or May of 2003.
3. A smooth transition for the new leadership team.
4. Sufficient finances for new Board members to join us at our next meeting.
5. God's continued blessings for Stephanie's family as they pursue the adoption
of their foster boys.
6. The safety of Julie's and Jenni's babies through the remaining months and
delivery.
If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me at JulieD@hannah.org.
Why Do We Do It?
Foster Parenting
Copyright © 2002. Stephanie
Bixler, Hannah's Prayer Resigning Director
The Story Of A Starfish
As a man walked the beach at dawn, he noticed a figure in the distance. As he
got closer, he realized it was a boy picking something up and gently throwing it
into the ocean. Approaching the boy, he asked, "What are you doing?"
The youth replied, "Throwing the starfish back into the ocean. The sun is
coming up, the tide is going out, and they'll be stranded. If I don't throw them
in, they'll die."
"But the beach stretches for miles and miles, and there are hundreds of
starfish," countered the man. "How can your efforts possibly make a
difference?"
After listening politely, the boy gazed at the starfish in his hand and threw it
to the safety of the waves.
Smiling at the man, he said, "It makes a difference to this one."
We do it for the 2 year old boy who's mom stood by and let her
boyfriend abuse him over and over again. We do it for the 8 year old girl who's
mom is in prison for offenses she is unable to understand. We say yes to the
social workers over and over again as they call and ask us to take just one more
child who has been hurt by the ones who should love them. We are foster parents.
Based on current Adoption and Foster Care Analysis and Reporting System (AFCARS)
estimates released January 2000, there are approximately 520,000 children
currently in foster care in the United States. Of these, 117,000 are eligible
for adoption. Historically, the number of children in foster care has increased,
while the proportion of children in foster care who are free for adoption has
remained constant. In 1977, as in 1997, approximately 20% of the children in
foster care were available for adoption. Of the children who were free for
adoption in 1977, 50% were in adoptive placements. Of the children free for
adoption in December, 1982, 34% were in adoptive placements. Thus, by December
1982, 33,000 children were waiting to be placed for adoption.
Who are these children waiting to be adopted? Out of the 117,000 children in
foster care who are waiting to be adopted 29% were less than a year old,
42% were 1-5 years, 23% were 6-10 years, 6% were 11-15 years, and less than 1%
were 16-18 years old when they were removed from their parents or caregivers.
52% are male, while 48% are female. Approximately 64% of children waiting
in foster care are of minority background; 32% are White, 51% of all foster
children waiting for adoption are Black, 11% are Hispanic, 1% are American
Indian, 1% are Asian/Pacific Islander, and 5% are unknown/unable to determine.
But let's put aside the statistics and give these children faces and emotions
because even though their parents don't see them that way, God does. There is
baby Emily who was born to a mom addicted to drugs. While the first few months
were rough going, Emily is in a pre-adoptive home with a foster family waiting
their finalization day. There is 9 yr old Michael, who when introduced to his
new foster family said, "I understand if you don't want me, I'm too old
anyway." The parents are in the final stages of adoption and Michael will
become child number 6 - - all adopted through Foster Care.
As for my husband and I, we too have been blessed by the
children we have had in our home. We have watched our foster daughter Catarina
go from a hard little girl with very few emotions to a loving, compassionate,
responsible 4th grader. While she no longer lives with us, we keep in touch with
her and know she is blossoming even more living with her dad. We welcomed two
little boys into our home this past July and had to sign "declarations of
oppositional behavior" , only to learn that all they needed were parents
who loved them and would not hurt them. After months of prayer, we learned on
Friday November 1st that Lorenzo and Isaac's mom has lost her parental rights
and we can now start the adoption process so these boys can become part of our
family. What an awesome gift that day will be for us, our family, and friends
who have supported us over the past year. Other foster parents have been blessed
as we have. Our good friends John and Amy have two vivacious little boys' ages 2
and 4 that have taught us all how to love unconditionally. Another member of
Hannah's Prayer has given her heart to her 19-month-old nephew as his foster
mom. Eventually she and her husband pray they will be able to adopt him and they
are praising God for that gift.
Some tell me I have rose-colored glasses on and that the negative to foster
parenting out weighs the positive. Maybe I do have a biased opinion but that is
because God has placed us in the situation and I have faith in Him to help us
through every trial we have. And God does provide. It's been one year since Mike
and I made the decision to stop fertility treatments and become foster parents.
So if my rose colored glasses are on that's fine because it was God who
put them there. The trails and challenges are things that you need to be aware
of but they are incomparable to the rewards and blessings that becoming a foster
parent will provide.
Positives of Foster Care:
Helping keep children safe
Providing a better life for them
Sharing and giving part of yourself
Helping a child reach their full potential
Knowing that you can make a difference
Making a child into an adult "Giver" not a "Taker!"
Using your skills to help others
Negatives of Foster Care:
Having your property damaged
Theft in your home
Disapproval from friends and family
Frustration when you realize your lack of immediate influence
Feelings of inferiority when your child does not mature
Dealing with anger being released at you
Wanton disregard towards you
Reputation damaged e.g. using a medical card at your local drug store
Requirements vary from state to state, and it is always best to check with your
local foster care. Some basic requirements are: - Be at least 21 years old. -
Have a bed and personal area in which a foster child can keep his or her
belongings. - Your home meets local fire, safety, and sanitation standards. - Be
physically and emotionally capable to care for children - No alcohol or drug
abuse problems - You must pass a criminal background check - No record of child
abuse or neglect - An income providing for your own family, independent from the
foster care reimbursement income.
You don't have to be a nominee for a "Parent of the Year" award or
have a six-figure income. Foster parents need to act as any other parents, but
with the added challenge of dealing with a child that has a troubled background
and an already inflated fear of rejection. They need to provide a sense of
belonging, acceptance, and love; however, these needs are usually met by the
result of a small success following an enduring struggle with many early
failures. And many times it is the case that after all this effort is put into a
relationship with a foster child, the foster parent must be able to let go if
the child needs to be relocated or placed back with his or her family.
Even after every class, meeting, and seminar required for foster parenting,
there are many situations that will arise for which you have not been prepared.
In some cases, foster parents with the best intentions and enthusiasm have found
that foster care was too demanding on their household and family. Foster
parenting is not for everyone, but the need is there for a child to have a
blessing come into his or her life. If you don't feel like fostering is
something that you and your family can do, there are other ways to become
involved.
· Offer to become a respite provider
for foster parents in your area. Foster parents are only allowed to leave the
children with people who are fingerprinted and CPR certified. Most agencies will
help you get the proper certification and some will even cover the cost.
Offering to take foster kids for an evening will allow the parents a much needed
date and will be very appreciated.
· Donate clothing and toys to local
agencies or other foster parents. Most of these children come with very few
personal items and even though the foster parents will purchase new clothes and
toys, it can become expensive. Our next-door neighbor gave our 6-year-old foster
son an old BMX bike that was in their garage for years. With two new tires and
pedals that bike has become Lorenzo's most prized possession.
· If you have a gift for teaching,
offer to tutor a foster child. Most children come from homes where education was
not a priority. Imagine being 7 years old and not being able to identify
letters? Providing free or low cost tutoring could turn a child's education
around.
· Employers or supervisors can also
help by allowing their employers who are foster parents to work a more flexible
schedule. There are numerous appointments with social workers, therapists and
family members that can make it difficult to maintain a job. Mike and I have
been blessed with wonderful bosses who understand what we need to do and allow
us to take time off when needed. The owner's wife once told me "I know I
can't be a foster parent but if I can help you to do it, then I've done a good
thing".
As a foster parent you will never be able to save all 500,000 in the system but
you may be able to save one. As God has commanded us to provide for the
widowed and orphaned, every foster parent will have a different reason as to why
we are doing it but in the end, it's about the kids.
Dear members of Hannah's Prayer,
The above article was mostly written before we got the exciting news that we are
going to be able to adopt Lorenzo and Isaac. As Julie mentioned in her Growing
Pains article, because of what has happened in our family I have asked to step
down from my position with Hannah's Prayer. The past year and a half has been so
amazing for me and I am truly thankful to Jenni and Julie for allowing me the
opportunity to be a part of this awesome ministry. Thank you to all who have
supported me through out my tenure and those who are praying for me now. May God
bless you all as He has so graciously blessed Michael and I.
Just a Word
A Soon-to-Be Father's Poem About Adoption
Copyright ©
James A. Kisner
The day is drawing closer...and I'm going to be a dad,
You think that I am nervous...well I might be just a tad.
We don't know what the baby is...we didn't want to know,
Whatever sex the baby is...we know we'll love it so.
Becoming parents is exciting...when it is your first,
But waiting so impatiently...has got to be the worst.
We always get excited...even planning life ahead,
The baby's room and furniture...and baby's little bed.
To think I'm going to be a dad...like many have before,
So many good dads out there but...I want to be much more.
I guess each new dad goes through this...he wants to be the best,
He thinks that he can be a dad...much better than the rest.
But I know I will be a good one...I will work at it,
And I will handle it in stride...with courage and with wit.
I will do the best I can...to give that special touch,
Because I want to be a father...very very much.
I know to be a father...is a dream that many have,
To others it just happens...when they do become a dad.
To some it may be natural...when babies come along,
But that is always not the case...and sometimes things go wrong.
What does it take to be a dad...and share a father's love?
Is it based on miracles...that come from up above?
Is it based on heritage...and passing on your genes?
Or is it based on love...you want to share by any means?
To be a father to a child...is more than just a birth,
It is the greatest treasure...that a man can have on earth.
To want to be a loving father...giving of yourself,
Bringing up a little one...in happiness and health.
It is the most a man can be...to satisfy his life,
To be a loving father...and a husband to his wife.
Then when you hear, "I love you daddy"...and your eyes are blurred,
You realize it through your tears...adoption's just a word.
This poem is reprinted with permission. The Poems and Writings of James A. Kisner (PoppyK1@aol.com) are copyrighted and may not be reproduced without permission. For online permission Email: FleetingMP@aol.com. All copies of his poems MUST include these credits.
Encouraging Words
Reprinted from
My Utmost For His Highest by Oswald Chambers
Copyright © 1935,
Dodd, Mead & Company, Inc.
"When we are born again, the Holy Spirit begins to work His new creation in us, and there will come a time when there is not a bit of the old order left, the old solemnity goes, the old attitude to things goes, and 'all things are of God.' How are we going to get the life that has no lust, no self-interest, no sensitiveness to pokes, the love that is not provoked, that thinketh no evil, that is always kind? The only way is by allowing not a bit of the old life to be left; but only simple perfect trust in God, such trust that we no longer want God's blessings, but only want Himself. Have we come to the place where God can withdraw His blessings and it does not affect our trust in Him? When once we see God at work, we will never bother our heads about things that happen, because we are actually trusting in our Father in Heaven Whom the world cannot see."
If you have an encouraging quote that has especially challenged you, please e-mail Jill at newsletter@hannah.org so that we may consider it for an upcoming issue of "Hannah to Hannah."
Ukrainian Adoption:
Day by Day
An Adoption Diary by
Gretchen Newkirk
(Editing and Introduction by Jill Amack, Editor of "Hannah to Hannah")
Editor's Note: Last fall, I had the privilege of being on a list of family and friends who received regular e-mail updates about Kyle and Gretchen Newkirk's international adoption. Having been on a mission's trip to Ukraine when they were newlyweds, Kyle and Gretchen decided to pursue an adoption from an orphanage near that area. Having two children, Seth (4) and Eliana (18 months), and three babies lost in between, the doctor informed them that another pregnancy could be dangerous for Gretchen. God was turning their hearts toward adoption, and they hoped God would see fit to add to their family.
Tuesday, July 17, 2001: Yet another turn in the
proceedings
We got news about Ukraine adoption law today. Apparently, they have
changed the wait period to 30 days. We can't bring home our children right
away unless the judge in our region will waive that. If he doesn't, then
we come home to wait and go back a few weeks later. So, we continue to
trust the Lord for His direction and provision. We have a lot of peace
about the whole situation. Please join with us and pray that the Lord
would work out all the details and that we would not be gone long from Seth and
Eliana. Also, in the case of a 30-day waiting period I'm sure we'll be
concerned about our new children waiting for us to come back!
Wednesday, August 8, 2001: Fingerprints in God's
Sovereign plan, too
Monday we got my fingerprints back, they needed to be redone for the State of
Texas again. They were redone Tuesday and back in the mail. So, we
are currently waiting on the State of Texas and Oklahoma to approve our criminal
history checks. Please pray that they would be done quickly. I know
that the Lord is sovereign over even the fingerprint thing and the extra time it
will take to have them returned. When our social worker receives them, she
can send our home study packet to the Ukrainian Consulate in Chicago, and once
approved they will send it to Ukraine to be translated and approved. Lots
of praises for everything that has been done already. Minnesota and
Michigan background checks are done. And our bills from the adoption
agency are getting paid. So, the Lord is providing abundantly for this!
Please continue to pray for our Ukrainian children, they are a constant prayer
for us here, just asking the Lord to encourage them each day, to provide someone
there to love them, to give them hope, provide them with good food and keep them
healthy. Seth said today, "Mommy, I can't wait to meet my new brother
and sister."
Wednesday, August 15, 2001: An adoption from the Odessa region
Below is an e-mail we received from a woman who has recently adopted from
Ukraine in the region we want to adopt in. Each region is different in
their procedures, etc., so this gave us a better idea of what we are in for.
And it will give you a better idea of how to pray for us!
There are several orphanages in the Odessa region. We went to three of
them -- two of which were right outside of the city. Two of them were baby
orphanages (ages 0-3) and one was a children's home (about 3 - 8). I know
there is another one about 2 hours away that is supposed to be pretty good -
Belegrod Dnistrophsky. Overall the orphanages in this region are well
funded. Ours particularly was very well funded and had a beautiful new
administrative building - not that the children benefited from it.
I think the age that you get is really just how it happens - when you are there,
etc. We were planning on adopting (2) two-year-olds and ended up with (1)
4-1/2 month old. We had tried to adopt a 4-year-old girl but an estranged
aunt came into the picture. We were away from home for 40 very long days
and this was before the 30-day thing. Much of the time was waiting for the
little girl, but our 10 days for Alek were not waived. That is also very
unpredictable. Others that were there at the same time did have theirs
waived. Our facilitator steered us towards Odessa since there are several
orphanages in the area.
Thursday, August 23, 2001: GREAT NEWS
I talked to our social worker Tuesday and she is going to get the paperwork
approval process started! Kyle and I had forgotten that our home study
must be sent to DSS who approves it and sends it to the INS who puts their stamp
of approval on it. Then, the process of the Ukrainian consulate,
translation, and the Adoption Center in Kiev approval. So, we are excited.
Timing still on track? Who knows?! Only God does. Funny
that PROBABLY in two months we will be in Ukraine ready to come home with two
more children. Everything is so unknown, from the age and sex of our
children to when they will be here! Kyle and I are so excited. I
feel as if I'm pregnant and am nesting....
Wednesday, September 5, 2001: Orphanage Needs
On September 30 and October 7 we will have a table at church passing out a list
of orphanage needs for people who would like to help with our adoption. Please
pray over this for us that the Lord would provide exactly what our orphanage is
in need of. We are thankful to the Lord for our friends, family, and
brothers and sisters in Christ who are helping us with this awesome need. Thank
you!
As of earlier today, we haven't heard anything from the INS yet.
Thursday, September 13, 2001: A Personal Report of
Facilitator and Odessa
We've had some encouraging news today. Gretchen talked to a woman from our
church that just got back from Ukraine. They also used Reaching Arms
International to adopt two children who are both 6 years old. Her name is
Cheryl and she and her husband adopted two last year from Ukraine and now have
adopted two more.
They had a good trip. She said it was hard but things went smoothly.
RAI has a new facilitator there named Constantine. He is a Christian
and speaks English fluently! He also has an assistant, Irra, and she also
is a believer and speaks English well. Cheryl said that either Constantine
or Irra were always with them and did a great job for them. The
facilitator does everything from translating to taking you where you need to go
and does all the paperwork, legal work, etc. Also, Cheryl said they went
to the Odessa region and she believes that all the judges there waive the
waiting period. Their trip was only 3 weeks long and that included a 3-day
Ukrainian holiday.
Kyle was supposed to go to Argentina, Uruguay, and Brazil next week for work,
but it has been postponed. He needs his passport for that trip (possibly
rescheduled to beginning of October) and to send to Chicago to the Ukrainian
Consulate for a visa. It has the possibility of setting our trip back.
So, please pray with us for God's timing, that we would fully trust and
glorify Him.
Monday, September 24, 2001: Update
Our social worker faxed our INS agent about expediting our approval. Hopefully,
it should be in our mailbox this week. Kyle and I are really getting antsy
to go get our kids. Please pray that God would cause this part of the
process to be done this week. Even if we do, it looks like our trip will
not be until the end of October or early November. Please continue to pray
for our little Ukrainian children that they would receive love from their
caregivers, good food, and would be healthy. Kyle and I are starting to
think about having everything we need to travel. Hopefully, we can figure
it out soon and get it done!
Friday, September 28, 2001: GREAT NEWS!
OUR INS APPROVAL CAME! THE LORD ANSWERED OUR PRAYERS! Now our
paperwork goes on to the Ukrainian Consulate, should be back by October 8, and
then it goes to Ukraine to be translated and approved. We are getting
closer! Thank you to all for your thoughts and prayers.
Wednesday, October 10, 2001: Prayer about kids
Our social worker just called. She's asking us to consider sibling groups
that their contact in Ukraine has met. They are older than what we
desired, so we are praying about if this is what God would have us to do.
Please join us.
Tuesday, October 16, 2001: Papers sent to Ukraine!
Our social worker had great news for us today. They received approval from
the Ukrainian Consulate in Chicago for our papers and now they are on the way to
Ukraine to be translated! Hopefully the Adoption Center (AC) will give
their stamp of approval within the next couple of weeks. Then we will be
able to travel. Kyle and I prayed about accepting the older sibling groups
of kids, but feel like the Lord is not changing our hearts from wanting younger
children. Thank you for praying with us.
We are continuing to pray about when we should go. Is it wise right
now to leave the country? [Editor's note: at this point, it is only one
month after the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks in New York, Washington
D.C., and Pennsylvania.] So far the Lord has continued to confirm our
desires to go in a few weeks. I am also praying that God would continually
show us if this adoption is what He would like us to do. We think it is,
but we want to be sensitive to the Lord and His plan for us. Thank you to
all who are praying and thinking about us in this interesting and exciting time
that the Lord has given to us!
Tuesday, October 23, 2001: Departure coming soon!
Our paperwork was submitted yesterday to the Adoption Center in Kiev. They
have until next Wednesday to approve it. Then we will probably travel that
weekend (November 3) or the next if there are children available. We are
so excited! For so long it seemed as if this would never come and now it
is almost time to leave. We have so many things to do before we leave,
please pray that we would be able to get them all done, and still have a normal
schedule with Seth and Eliana. Here's some things I'll be doing: getting a
medical kit together for our new children, packing, getting a loan for the money
we will need, making cassette tapes for Seth and Eliana to listen to, etc.
This afternoon I'll drop off our passports for the visa application.
Our Heavenly Father has been so gracious to provide for all of our needs.
He is faithfully giving us all we need in His time!
Wednesday, October 24, 2001: WE'RE APPROVED!
IT'S FINALLY HAPPENED! WE'RE JUMPING (LITERALLY) FOR JOY! DON'T KNOW
MANY DETAILS YET, EXCEPT WE LEAVE IN A WEEK!
WILL WRITE MORE LATER, HAVE LOTS TO DO TODAY!
Friday, October 26, 2001: Travel Meeting
We had our travel meeting with our agency today. Our flights are next
Saturday, November 3, arriving in Kiev on Sunday. Igor, our facilitator
there, will pick us up and take us to our agency's apartment. Helen lives
there and will take care of us. The next day, Igor will take us to the
Adoption Center where we will meet with the center's director, Tamara. Tuesday
we will meet the children. Please pray for this important day that we
would be sensitive to the Lord's leading of who He wants us to adopt. Then,
lots of days of legal stuff. We will have days to play with our children
in the orphanage while waiting on the court date.
RAI informed us that the thing that will need much prayer is going to the
American consulate in Kiev to get passports for the children. If we get
the right person, we can get the passports in one day, if not, it could be five
days. Also, we are planning on being gone three weeks. Our flight
back is scheduled on November 24, but hopefully we will be able to change it for
an earlier date.
The Lord has really made us content with all of the circumstances. We
don't have a certain age of child in mind or timetable, so that's good! And
by His grace, we have most of the funds that we need. We will be in touch
with Seth, Eliana, and my mom via a cellular phone that we will rent there.
Also, we will be updating our site when we are near an Internet cafe.
We greatly appreciate your prayers, and we really do feel the Lord's hand
and blessing in all of this.
Saturday, November 3, 2001: Wow, on our way today!
Here it is, the day we leave! In fact, I'm so excited that even though
I've had very little sleep this whole week, I still could only sleep for five
hours last night! This past week has been a very long one. We have
been going like the Energizer BunnyÔ around here.
Tuesday we met with the Lydia Fund. They are a group that gives money to
Christians adopting from overseas. During our interview, they prayed for
us, encouraged us, and provided money they have available to help with our fees.
The Lord has provided graciously through them and through others....
So many people have given gifts for the orphanage and for gift giving. The
saying is that no one can out give a Ukrainian, but they have never seen our
friends in action! We do have a good number of gifts to give away and I'm
so thankful. I can't wait to give them, not only to be the bearer of good
gifts but also because that will empty out a suitcase or two...! The gifts
for the orphans are plentiful, taking much room in our bags, and we are thankful
for that. May God supply for all the orphans needs.
Speaking of bags, we have lots! We are checking all of the following: a
huge suitcase, huge duffel, a big rolling duffel (bought it last night when we
discovered we needed more), and a big backpack. Then, we are carrying
onboard a stroller and two fairly large backpacks. Please pray that the
two of us will be able to handle all of these bags and get them there! I
hope the airline doesn't have a problem with the amount and weight of them.
Relief swept over me last night (even though it was 1 a.m.) just at the
fact that they were finally packed.
In Ukraine, they for the MOST part do not accept anything but dollars. So
yesterday I visited a few banks to get the amount I needed in new, clean bills.
Please pray that God will keep it and our passports safe; we have never
carried this much money!
One other item that took a good deal of time was communicating with our friends
Tonya and Tolya who we stayed with on our last trip to Ukraine. They
wanted to meet us at the airport when we got there. When we first heard
back from them and that they wanted to meet us, I was filled with wonder that
God can put us together, believers from two very different parts of the world
and amazed at the bond we have with them through Jesus Christ!
When we leave, Grandma is going to buy a couple of fish for
Seth's new fishbowl. Last night at dinner he was praying to God for his
fish. He prayed the same way we have been praying for our new children,
like: please protect them, keep them healthy, encourage them, and help them to
come home soon and safely. We were all suppressing laughter as he prayed
this. My sweet boy, he has such a wonderful heart. My prayer for him
while we are gone is that he will know God: His promises, care, and love more
deeply, and that he will go to God and receive comfort.
Our flight leaves for Amsterdam at 3:20. We have a 6-hour layover in
Amsterdam and then leave for Kiev. Once there, it will be Sunday afternoon
and Igor (pronounced "eger") and Tonya and Tolya should be at the
airport to meet us. Maybe Monday, but for sure by Tuesday, we will be at
the orphanage seeing the available children. (We are working on choosing
names while we fly, are carrying two baby name books!) There is an
Internet cafe in a lot of adoption regions, so we should be able to update you
after we have met our children.
In the last week I have talked to two women who have adopted from Ukraine this
year and they have nothing but good to say about it.
Wednesday, November 7, 2001: Hello from Ukraine!
From the Internet cafe in Cherkasy, Ukraine
Well, we're here and have a lot to report. After a long trip and no sleep
we arrived in Kiev Sunday afternoon. Sunday at the Amsterdam airport we
saw Sara, another social worker from RAI. She was on her way home from
Ukraine and she really encouraged us. A divine appointment if you know the
size of the Amsterdam airport! We went through a million passport control
areas there. We did not have any problem with customs in Kiev. The
airport there is much more modernized than the Odessa airport five years ago.
In fact, they didn't even have the stern KGB staring down at us!
Tonya and Tolya were there and found us right away. Their daughter Sveta
had a daisy bouquet for us. They had driven for 12 hours on Saturday to be
in Kiev on Sunday! We finally found Igor and proceeded to the apartment.
We were fed by Helen, Reaching Arm's fabulous hostess in Kiev, amidst much
translating and figuring out what to do with Tonya and Tolya (they don't speak
English and we don't speak Russian). Helen graciously offered to show all
of us Kiev and translate. So we rode the metro and walked together while
trying to communicate! Everyone here is touchier than Americans, so Helen
grabbed my hand, and we walked together hand in hand! Sad that it strikes
an American a little funny.
T&T didn't know until last week that we were going to adopt and wondered why
and how would I care for all? (Keep in mind that they hand wash
everything, etc.) They expressed deep love for God and thanks to him for
everything, and were so glad to see us. They came to Kiev trusting God,
because they didn't have money for the trip. But God blessed them through
someone we know who gave Christmas money to them. Our conversation with
them focused on God's provision and His greatness.
After a night of touring the sights of Kiev, Monday morning we left early for
the Adoption Center to meet with Tamara, the Director. We spent all
morning waiting in a dark and cold hallway. Had to eat lunch and come
back. We finally got the two approvals we needed and left for Cherkasy
around 3 p.m. We arrived when it was dark, around 6 p.m., and at that
point thought we'd meet all of the available children. The director,
Valentina, actually stayed late on her vacation day to show us a baby girl.
On Monday night we got to meet our new daughter: Oksana or Oxana,
depending on who is doing the translating. We cried when they brought her
in. She is beautiful (born on May 28, 2000) with a really sweet and gentle
heart, but is a little sensitive and not exactly sure about her new mom and dad!
She has a hard time with strangers, so we went to her group. She
played well with them and loved her caretakers. They were all saying
"mama" and "papa" and Kyle and I were thinking that we still
had others to meet. We found out later that there were no other choices.
So we knew that God meant Oksana for us. We have decided to name her
Anne Oksana, after my mom.
We spent the night on Monday at the apartment of another Helen-a worker at the
orphanage. The next day we went back to the baby house and took Oksana for
a walk. She was scared for a long time and had tears, one at a time.
I got on the swing set with her and she fell right asleep. When I
got up, she woke up happy. We sat on the ground and played with leaves for
half an hour. She was very content.
We were told that there was a boy to see and today we met him, Alexy. He
came in with his head down, kind of cowering. I took his hand and he
immediately came over, sat in my lap, and hugged. The assistant director
told us that he had been at the baby house since August of 2000. He is
really gentle and playful, too. He was so beautiful and sweet that we were
very happy to say "yes" to adopt him also! He is 2 years and 11
months old. He was the only boy available for adoption here. God was
very gracious to us that we didn't have to pick. He did it all! After
seeing Alexy for 10 minutes he had to go. We have decided to name him
Daniel Kyle Alexy Newkirk. Both of these kids have awesome blue eyes and
sandy blond hair, they could be brother and sister-and they will be!
The baby house ("detsky dome") hours for visiting are 10-12 pm and 4-6
pm. The afternoon visiting hours were a little difficult because Igor had
left us. His wife just had surgery to remove a tumor and they were getting
the news about the tumor today. We didn't know where Daniel's group's room
was so we didn't know what to do. Down the dark hallway, all of a sudden a
child ran toward us (we weren't surprised, all the kids hug and run to us for
attention) but it was Daniel! He grabbed my legs and wouldn't let us go.
His group was going to music class so we went with them! Wasn't God
gracious to help us find him?! Then this morning, Daniel ran right over
with a hug, but with his head down. He also is calling us mama and papa.
I talked to him and said papa, mama, dome (home), Alexy (Daniel), brot
(brother) Seth, sestra (sister) Eliana and Anne. He repeated the dome part
and brot Seth! It was very sweet. As I played with him, he made more
eye contact and raised his head. Didn't seem to be so scared. He
understands what is happening.
Anne does great in her class, but runs the other direction when we get near her.
She always looks back at us and smiles, but when we pick her up she
wiggles down. We are not discouraged by this, but encouraged because she
is bonded to her nannies. Other children who are not bonded run to whoever
will give them attention. This morning we split up our time, Kyle with
Anne and I with Daniel then we switched after an hour. That helped, not so
overwhelming with two adults and one child.
God has already answered so many prayers. Our children are at the
best orphanage in Ukraine, from what we've heard. They are well fed and
loved! There are many caretakers there. Please pray for both kids,
they are both scared and sick with a cold (bronchitis). Daniel had a fever
yesterday and today. Due to the schedule of the Minister of Health, we may
not be able to get a court date until a week from today (Tuesday). We
would really like to get home sooner, so maybe with God's help an earlier date
can be arranged. God is wonderful! He has provided everything that
we need and desire.
Friday, November 9, 2001: It's Friday! We've almost
been here one week.
Many prayers were answered yesterday afternoon. It was Anne's group's time
for sitting on their potty chairs (they are all potty trained). Anne was
done so they sent her out early. I held out my arms and she walked right
to me for the first time! She did this about five times and was smiling as
she came to me. I took a picture of her group and this will be a treasure.
There are some dear children in there that I want to remember. Please
pray for the ones that call us mama and papa and always come and sit on our laps
or hang on us-Sasha (a darling chubby boy who has a wonderful spirit and plays
games with us), Denise (a really cute boy whose mom left him and his brother but
hasn't given up rights; I always pray that God would bless his mom and that she
would be able to bring them back home) and Alla (a darling blond hair cutie who
really wants a mommy).
Our hostess, Helen, came back this a.m. from working at the baby house all night
long and decided to give me my first lesson in Ukrainian cooking! We made
something I can't pronounce, but it is like crepes stuffed with a sweet cream
cheese center. The cream cheese part I stirred together (made of raw eggs,
cream cheese, sugar, and vanilla). Yummy! We will have these for
lunch today. Please pray that God will protect our health. I am so
grateful to Helen, she is an excellent hostess and wonderful friend.
We went back to the baby house for visiting hours this a.m. and tried to meet
outside with both of the kids so they could meet each other. We were both
out there, but we just missed each other! Anne was a handful this a.m.
She didn't want to ride in the stroller and didn't want to walk the
direction I did-definitely a will there! She seems to be much healthier
today. Daniel still has a cold and fever. He seems really run down.
On our way here we found a store that sells handmade Ukrainian things.
What fun! I found two little Ukrainian dresses for Anne and Eliana
to wear next summer. They are beautiful and only about $5.00 apiece!
Today we are both feeling a little homesick. It's getting hard because
Igor has been gone a lot, so the communication isn't great without a translator.
It's hard being away from home (we are homebodies and really miss Seth and
Eliana), trying to please everyone while playing with our kids, and things are
going so slow. Please pray for our patience and contentment with what the
Lord gives and doesn't give as far as schedule/getting home. It will be
great to be in Kiev this weekend at the Reaching Arms apartment with Helen
there. She speaks English well and it will be good to be able to
communicate with a Ukrainian. Can't wait to get home and show you all
these wonderful and beautiful children.
Saturday, November 10, 2001: Saturday update
We have to go to Kiev right now-a day later than expected-nothing exciting
except buying a refrigerator for the orphanage! Not sure about
Sunday or Monday in Kiev, we'll try to find Internet access there on Sunday if
possible, then Monday back to Cherkasy in the p.m.
Monday, November 12, 2001: Monday update via Minnesota
Gretchen called me (Gretchen's mom) today from their cell phone and asked me to
update everyone and ask for your prayers. After spending the weekend in
Kiev, they were headed back to Cherkasy tonight for their Tuesday 8 a.m.
appointment with the judge! A couple from Minneapolis-St. Paul who are
also adopting through Reaching Arms are with them. Igor is in the midst of
helping both couples and timing is very important for all details to go smoothly
for their return. Since Gretchen and Kyle are going to be in court at 8
a.m., I will be making calls to both the U.S. consulate in Kiev and the U.S.
Embassy in Warsaw, Poland, to make final appointments for visas and passports.
Timing is important because of the flight arrangements and the desire for
a quick return home.
Tuesday, November 13, 2001: Tuesday update
We are on our way to actually pick up the kids!!! All of our court
proceedings went exactly as planned and we now have the new birth certificates
and passports for the kids. Tomorrow we have to go to the Medical Center
for a checkup and to complete some other paperwork with the Ministries of
Foreign Affairs and Justice-it's incredible the amount of paperwork!
In all, God has really had His hand over us-some of our paperwork was stolen
yesterday when Igor, our facilitator, had his tire deliberately flattened while
he was in a store. While he was changing it someone opened the door of his
car and stole his briefcase. Igor called a friend who was acquainted with
the director of the adoption center, and he got them to reissue some of our
papers-amazing, because they first told Igor that it was his problem and that
they wouldn't help him. The story is . . . prayer works . . . please keep
it up! We have a couple of intense days left, with an appointment on
Friday morning at the American Embassy in Kiev. We still have a few
important pieces of paper to get and we also have to get plane tickets, change
flights, etc., so please pray for His grace. If all of this holds, we
would fly back to the States on Saturday.
Please pray specifically for a few things. These kids haven't been in a
car for who knows how long, and have never been in an airplane-so pray that they
wouldn't be too scared. Also, they have very specific schedules and
currently know almost to the minute what they will be doing each day (including
when they will be going to the bathroom), so please pray for flexibility.
Thursday, November 15, 2001: Thursday update
[Gretchen's mom, Ann] Gretchen called at noon today from the airport in
Prague. She's yearning for her children here and for all of them to be
together. Their flight from Kiev left late and they missed their
connection in Prague; however, there was one more evening flight into Warsaw.
By now they should be at the Sheraton with two tired but beautiful
children. Good news...Daniel was dancing around them at the airport!!!!
Anne is doing well, also. Pray for their appointment at the U.S.
Embassy tomorrow scheduled for 9:30 a.m. They return later in the day to
pick up the passport. Their final day of travel is Saturday, from Warsaw
to Amsterdam and then on to MSP!!
Friday, November 16, 2001: Friday in Warsaw
We are at the Sheraton and it sure is a nice, slow day. We needed it after
yesterday. This week was a little hard because we were moving from place
to place with the kids, luggage, etc. And if we didn't make it to all the
appointments, we would've had to wait until Monday for our embassy appointment
and then fly home on Tuesday, so I think I was holding my breath all week just
trying to get here on Friday. I didn't realize how very much I missed Seth
and Eliana until we were on the flight to Prague and the stewardess said that we
would have to stay in Prague overnight. I burst out in tears! So it
will be really great to have all four of our children at home together.
Praises to God for so many details falling into place! So many documents
had to come together in a short amount of time with all the right stamps on
them. And we made it to the embassy this a.m. and she found all the right
documents! Then, we received all the right paperwork from them this p.m.,
so we are good to go. (By the way, there were at least five other families
at the embassy with newly adopted children.) The embassy lady said some
Fridays she has 12 families! God is so gracious to these orphans. Amazing
to see Him put the same convictions on other people's hearts (people from Rhode
Island, California, Florida, and Washington D.C.).
Daniel does great on the plane. He is really sweet. In the taxi, the
windshield wipers were going and every time they moved he went, "OOOOh."
So cute! Anne loves to get into things that she's not supposed to,
but that's expected. She sleeps great in the taxi and plane, amazing!
And her smile is really cute. I promise as soon as we get home,
we'll develop pictures and post them on the Web site. We love you all and
can't wait to show you our children! Praise be to God!
Thursday, November 22, 2001: Thanksgiving update
After getting home around 8 p.m. on Saturday night (after about 20 hours of
traveling), everybody was really tired, but the kids needed to play a bit and
get acclimated before heading to bed. Seth got out his box of matchbox
cars and Daniel just sat down wide-eyed, smiling, and grabbed piles of cars and
just held them in awe. He walked around the living room with his arms
overflowing with cars. It was really great.
It's hard to imagine what these kids are thinking. Daniel was abandoned at
the orphanage when he was about 15 months old, and Anne's mom just left the
hospital without her at birth, so they had both been in the orphanage about a
year and a half. During that time they hadn't been in a car, and certainly
not an airplane, and never a hotel room. We got to the orphanage to pick
them up about 5 p.m. (dark), dressed them in our clothes, and shuffled them off
to the Kia Sportage for a three and a half hour ride to Kiev (with new parents
that didn't speak their language). After that, we had multiple car and
taxi rides, four airplane rides, one doctor visit, trips to two U.S. Embassies
(Kiev and Warsaw), several nights in hotels and apartments until we got them
home to new bedrooms and a new brother and sister. God has been very
gracious to us that nobody flipped out with all of the changes!
Both Daniel and Anne have made great progress in the last few days. When
we picked them up at the orphanage they both had sunken eyes with dark circles
and were really pale. They are looking better and feeling better, their
appetites are great, and after a few days with some structure, they are really
beginning to blossom. My mom has really been working with Daniel on words
in some picture books and he already knows banana, car (his favorite!), horse,
dog, tractor, no more, yes, no, and a few others. He really loves his
grandma and aunts Carrie and Lisa, and likes to give hugs and have people kiss
his stuffed bear (then Daniel kisses it and holds it up for you to kiss it
again). This is really amazing because he didn't talk, smile, or laugh for
the first two to three days after we got him.
Anne is having a harder time, but she is starting to make eye contact (which she
never did at the orphanage or for the first couple of days after) and really has
a beautiful smile. She also has the most pretty blue eyes, and likes to
hide around the corner and then pop out to see you. She is having a much
more difficult time both going to bed and sleeping than Daniel, which is kind of
tough because she is sleeping in the same room as Eliana who is a really light
sleeper, so sometimes we have 2 girls up at night. I dressed them both in
little denim dresses for Thanksgiving dinner and it was getting hard to tell
them apart. Anne is definitely more behind physically and developmentally
than Eliana. She is about three months older than Eliana, but Eliana is
taller, heavier, and is farther along with speech and motor skills. However,
Anne was born about five weeks prematurely, so the age differences are really
not that great. Anne really has a strong will, though, so pray for us that
we might be able to nurture her in a godly manner so that we can direct her
heart toward the Lord.
Both Seth and Eliana are doing well with the transition. Today was
beautiful day in Minnesota so we played outside with the kids and it was just a
joy to see and hear a houseful-it was also great to see a Thanksgiving table
with four little ones all stuffing their faces (Daniel wasn't so sure about some
of the new stuff!)-God has been truly gracious to us many times over.
We love all of you and pray that Thanksgiving was as special for you as it was
for us. Prior to dinner, we have made it a tradition to read President
Lincoln's 1863 Thanksgiving Proclamation. A portion of Lincoln's words
follow:
". . . We have been the recipients of the choicest bounties of heaven; we
have been preserved these many years in peace and prosperity; we have grown in
numbers and wealth and power as no other nation has ever grown.
"But we have forgotten God. We have forgotten the gracious hand which
preserved us in peace and multiplied and enriched and strengthened us, and we
have vainly imagined, in the deceitfulness of our hearts, that all these
blessings were produced by some superior wisdom and virtue of our own. Intoxicated
with unbroken success, we have become too self-sufficient to feel the necessity
of redeeming and preserving grace, too proud to pray to the God that made us . .
."
How humbling and true, especially in our day with the things that are happening
in our nation. I am eternally grateful to the Lord for the blessings He
has provided us, and I thank Him for all of you.
"I will give thanks to the Lord with all my heart; I will tell of all Your
wonders.
I will be glad and exult in you;
I will sing praise to Your name, O Most High." Psalm 9: 1-2
Now, when Gretchen sees four smiling, happy children, she is so thankful that
God chose to bless their family after years of pain and heartache. It is a
precious sight. Two boys, two girls. Two Ukrainians, two Americans.
Two biological, two adopted. And yet- in the greater sense-one
family, one home, one love.
Hannah's Prayer Adoption Resources
Reaching Arms International - http://www.raiadopt.org
The two-fold mission of Reaching Arms International is to unite orphaned
children from struggling nations with loving American Judeo-Christian families
and to provide medical, educational and humanitarian relief to children in
orphanages, hospitals or living on the streets worldwide.
http://www.adoption.org/
- a volunteer effort, created as focal point for people interested in adoption,
such as birthparents, adoptive parents (current and prospective), adoptees, and
supporting professionals
http://www.christianadoption.org
http://www.adoptionsites.com/
- AdoptionSites.com has categorized 100+ of the most popular, and our favorite
adoption websites, along with their descriptions. We invite you to link to
your favorite adoption websites and help promote the cause of adoption.
National Adoption Information Clearinghouse - federally funded one-stop
resources for information on all aspects of child adoptions. www.calib.com/naic
U.S. Department of State Office of Children's Issues - handles international
parental child abduction and international adoption matters. http://travel.state.gov/children'sissues.html
www.adoption.com -
includes an adoption photo listing of children available for international
adoption, chat, information for adoptive and birth parents, search and reunion
tools, and more.
Hallmark Channel: Adoption - official site of the series following real
lives of people sharing their adoption stories. http://www.hallmarkchannel.com/adoption/
Adoption Advocates - provides online and printed publications on federal
and state adoption rules, legislation, and financial assistance/subsidy
resources.
http://www.fpsol.com/adoption/advocates.html
Upcoming Events
Is your organization sponsoring an infertility, adoption,
or infant loss seminar?
If so, please e-mail Jill at newsletter@hannah.org
so that we may consider
your announcement for an upcoming issue of "Hannah to Hannah."
Hannah's Prayer is not directly related to, nor has any
financial interest in, these organizations.
We prayerfully list them to help you find other resources that may be of
blessing or encouragement to you.
Adoption Academy Offers Classes
Columbus Children's Hospital
700 Children's Dr.
Columbus, Ohio
(614) 722-4949 Children's Hospital Education Department
Here is the fall schedule for the upcoming educational classes:
DOMESTIC TRACK (4 weeks)
November 5 Affording Your Adoption and
Parent and Adoptee Panel
INTERNATIONAL TRACK (4 weeks)
November 12 Step-by-Step Process of
International Adoption
November 19 Dealing with Governments -
Ours and Others
December 3 Medical and Health Care
Needs of the Child
December 10 Transcultural Adoption
Considerations
Domestic and International Fees are $20 for first person, $15 for each
additional
All classes are at Columbus Children's Hospital, 700 Children's Dr. Columbus,
Ohio.
Call Children's Hospital Education Dept. at (614) 722-4949 for a registration
brochure or if you have additional questions. Brochures are also available
online at the RESOLVE of Ohio Web site, www.resolveofohio.org or
www.childrenscolumbus.com or www.law.capital.edu/adoption.
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Parent Support Group in Glendale,
California
Fourth Thursday of every month
7:30pm - 9:30 pm at Verdugo Hills Hospital
Main Entrance, 4th Floor, Council Rooms
1812 Verdugo Blvd., Glendale, California
The Pregnancy and Infant Loss Group of Verdugo Hills Chapter of The
Compassionate Friends, is for parents who are grieving the loss of a baby
through ectopic pregnancy, miscarriage, stillbirth, newborn or early infant
death. Mothers and fathers are invited to attend alone or with their
partner. We will meet on the same dates and times as the general
Compassionate Friend meetings, but in an adjacent room. For more
information please call (818) 957-0254 or contact Susan tcfsgh@pacbell.net.
Infertility & Adoption Group
Fourth Thursday of every month
7:00-9:00 pm at Evangelical Free Church of Fresno
3438 E. Ashlan Avenue
Fresno, California 93726-3597
For more information, please contact Pete and Linda Weller at 226-4100.
Infertility Support Group
Last Friday of every month
7:00 pm at the First United Methodist Church
72 Lake Morton Drive
Lakeland, Florida 33801
Phone contact: First UMC Counseling Office (863) 644-8241
Please call to confirm time and location. Should you require further
information or confirmation, please contact Laurie Busey at greggbuseyz@yahoo.com
or phone (863) 644-1507.
Infertility Support Group
Meeting times: to be determined
Sheffield Family Life Center Church
5700 Winner Road
Kansas City, Missouri
Contact: Terri Bennett
(816) 220-9823
nealandterri@yahoo.com
The Sheffield Family Life Center Church has built a new building and expanded
its programs to include a new ministry called, "The Refuge." They
are starting a Christian support group for those experiencing infertility,
unwanted childlessness, and other related issues. The name of the support
group is, "Light On The Path." The groups will meet monthly for
support and there will also be special events (adoption panels, etc.). There
are brochures available if you would like to have a copy e-mailed or mailed to
you. The group may meet at the church or in Terri's home. Please
contact Terri if you are interested in attending.
Glory Babies
Every third Tuesday, 6:30 p.m.
Grace's Women's Center
235 S. Broadway
Tyler, Texas
Glory Babies, a Christ-centered care group for men and women who are grieving
the loss of a child during pregnancy or infancy. We meet every 3rd Tuesday
at 6:30 p.m. at Grace's Women's Center downtown on Broadway. It is located
at 235 S. Broadway just north of Front Street (next to the Expert Tire) and it
has green awnings over the windows. For further information contact
Jennifer at (903) 939-1548 or glorybabies@dctexas.net.
Upcoming Hannah to Hannah Topics & Submission Deadlines
December 2002 – Christmas and Holiday Coping – submissions by November 15, 2002
January 2003 - New Year's Update - submissions by Dec. 15, 2002
February 2003 - Marriage Builders - submissions by January 15, 2003
March 2003 - Secondary Infertility, Step-parenting - submissions by February 15, 2003
April 2003 - Church, Family, and Friends - submissions by March 15, 2003
May 2003 - Mother's Day and Female Issues - submissions by April 15, 2003
June 2003 - Father's Day and Male Issues - submissions by May 15, 2003
July 2003 - Infertility within the Military Family - submissions by June 15, 2003
August 2003 - Diagnosis and Treatment - submissions by July 15, 2003
September 2003 - Infertility Awareness Month - submissions by August 15, 2003
October 2003 - Pregnancy Loss Month, Thanksgiving - submissions by September 15, 2003
November 2003 - Adoption Awareness Month - submissions by October 15, 2003
December 2003 - Christmas and Holiday Coping - submissions by November 15, 2003
All submissions to the newsletter (whether by snail mail or
e-mail) must include the following information:
- Full name
- Address
- City, State Zip
- Phone number
- E-mail address
- Has this work been published
previously? Yes No
- (If yes, please provide publisher's
name and address)
- Does H2H have your permission to use
this work in the newsletter? Yes No
- OPTIONAL short biography about your
infertility journey
If you have several submissions (example: sending one e-mail with several poems
attached or mailing several poems in one envelope) each individual
submission must include this information. Submissions not including this
information will not be used in H2H. Thank you for your assistance with
this policy!
Newsletter Submission and Reprint Information
Hannah's Prayer is a California based, non-profit 501(c)(3)
organization, established Jan 1, 1995. All staff members are unpaid volunteers who are proclaiming
Christians (from a range of denominational backgrounds) and have personal
experience with the heartache of fertility challenges. 
was
designed exclusively for Hannah's Prayer by