Hannah To Hannah
September 2003 All rights reserved. Copyright ©2002. Issue #32
Providing "Christian
Support for Fertility Challenges"
including infertility or the loss of a
child at any time from conception through early infancy.
A monthly publication of Hannah's Prayer Ministries.
This month's topic:
Infertility
Awareness Month
The Reflection Facing a Friend's Pregnancy When I'm Sterlie
Empty Arms Poem about God's Purpose in the Midst of Infertility
Life’s Greatest Lesson Infertility Poem
New Book Study Starting in September
Newsletter Submission & Reprint Information
New Ladies
In Waiting / Hannah's Prayer
Message Boards
Stephanie Bixler, Director of Hannah’s Prayer
You have heard the rumors and seen the announcements but now it's
official...Hannah's Prayer is proud to announce the new Ladies In Waiting Community Forum Message Boards.
The Hannah's Prayer Community Forums (bulletin/message boards) have grown out of Ladies In Waiting e-mail lists and the Hannah's Prayer E-mail Pals program. We offer Christian-based Internet support for married Christian women surviving the physical, emotional, and spiritual struggle brought on by fertility challenges. As we find ourselves in families that do not fit the picture of what we had imagined them to be by now, we strive to find contentment in God's plan. We use the title "Ladies In Waiting" as we are always waiting: for a baby, for our period to start (or most often hopefully for it not to start), for doctor's appointments, etc. But most importantly, we are all called, as Christians, to wait upon the Lord.
It's easy to register and begin using the message boards. Go to: http://www.hannah.org/ministries/liw/groups.htm and read all about the new boards. Once you’re ready to join click on "joining the community" and follow the directions. Please note: you will have to read and agree to our “Statement of Faith” policy when you register.
You will now need to give yourself a username that is between 3 and 32 characters long. Please note, these names are CASE SENSITIVE. Make sure your username is one you can easily remember - it's a smart idea to write it down! You also need to choose a password. Again, this will be case sensitive, and you will need to be able to remember it.
YOU WILL PROBABLY GET AN ERROR WHEN YOU REGISTER. PLEASE IGNORE
IT. EVEN THOUGH IT GIVES AN ERROR, THE REQUEST IS PROCESSED. IF YOU TRY TO RE-REGISTER AND GET A "You're e-mail has been used" THAT MEANS IT WENT THROUGH THE FIRST TIME!
We are trying to process registrations on a daily basis, so you should receive an
e-mail saying you are registered within 48 hours. At that point, you will go back to
http://www.hannah.org/cgi-bin/ib3/ikonboard.cgi again, but this time, rather than selecting "Register Now!" you will just enter your username and password in the spaces provided and click on "Log Me In.” I would suggest book marking the above link for easier access to the boards. You may attempt to log in 48 hours after registration even if you have not yet received your e-mail confirmation of registration. If you still cannot access the message boards after 48 hours, please contact
liw@hannah.org for assistance.
Once you log on, you will then be able to view all the boards. We have over 70 boards to choose from; so don't be afraid to spend some time getting to know the groups and the way the boards work. To post, click on the link to the board that interests you (for instance, "Primary Infertility") and select "New Topic," or, if there have already been posts made to that board, click directly on the topic title to the right of that board (under "last post info") to read or reply to messages already there.
If you run across any problems or can't seem to get your registration to go through, e-mail Julie our community forums administrator at
liw@hannah.org. We look forward to seeing everyone there!
Three Days Late
by Mary Munsell
Three days late.
No big deal.
Nothing to write home about.
Right?
Well, not for a rational woman!
But what if you're 38,
And you have no children,
Other than one in Heaven
And two stepdaughters
Who live with their
"Real mom"
And often act like you don't--
Or shouldn't--
Exist?
What if the mere glimpse
Of a baby outfit
Raises your pulse
By quite a few points?!
Three days late
Suddenly becomes a desperate prayer
To stretch into nine months!
You hear people say
They hate changing diapers.
You want to slap them!
You'd give your arm
For the privilege!
Three days late.
No big deal.
It's only your sanity
On the line!
You know God loves you,
And you love Him,
Yet how many times you've cried,
"Why don't You like me, Lord?"
Three days late.
Lord, I can't help it.
Please, this one time,
Turn the three days
Into nine months
Of bloated ecstasy!
Lord, I'd give my arm
For dirty diapers;
Breastfeeding;
Nighttime crying spells
(I can't hear, anyway!)
Three days late.
I'm holding water!
I still pray yet
To hold Autumn Grace
Or Samuel Bryce.
Please, Father, please.
Turn three days into nine months,
And grant me the joyous inconvenience
Of endless messy diapers
And sleepless nights!
Three days late.
When, Lord?
When?
Mary Munsell has been married for 5 years. Her husband has two daughters who live with their mom—who is now pregnant by surprise! Mary’s desire to have a child has been postponed because her husband had a vasectomy after his second child was born. She also has a family history of miscarriage, so she’s recently decided to adopt, saying, “I figure there is a child out there who needs me for a mom!” Of
Hannah's Prayer, Mary says, “I've only been a part of it for a couple of months or so and
I LOVE IT! I have wanted for so long to put my writing to use where it would particularly minister to people; I have prayed, too, and that's when the Lord started opening the doors, and I'm eager to walk through them!”
The Reflection
by Debra Shirley
As the doors closed and my eyes adjusted to the dimly lit elevator, I was ambushed by her reflection in the mirror. It was obvious I had not seen her in quite a while. Judging by her appearance, it must have been at least six months since our last encounter.
Since the elevator was filled to capacity, I continued to face the front and stare at the reflection cast upon me. I should have been elated that she had overcome the infertility battle. I should have been thrilled that one of the stricken had conquered her disease. I should have been happy for her; but as I viewed her reflection in contrast to mine, I wondered silently,
"Why her? Why not me?"
I subconsciously ran my fingers across my own abdomen and contemplated how it must feel to have a miniature person growing inside. My recent surgery had deprived me that possibility. I would never savor the moment when life announces itself with a sudden flutter. I would never experience the force of a tiny arm or leg pushing against the inner walls of its temporary shelter. My body would forever be void of the instant when a child makes its presence known to its mother. She was given the chance to possess every sensation of a life within her, but I had been denied.
Why?
We had a lot in common, she and I. We both had endometriosis. We both had been through surgery. Her surgery was an overwhelming success; mine a complete failure. She was bringing new life into the world; I was enduring life, childless and barren. She had been blessed; I had been shunned.
Why?
I remember the first time we met. She was a young girl in her early twenties and I an older woman in my late thirties. A mutual friend sent her to talk to me about her medical problems. The doctor told her she might have endometriosis, but he did not prepare her for this devastating condition. I provided a list of symptoms and we talked for several minutes comparing notes and treatments. I shared my experiences with her; she shared her fears with me. She had questions; I had answers. Together we diagnosed her illness. There was no doubt in either of our minds. She had been invaded by the silent fertility thief – endometriosis. I promised to pray for her, and I did.
A few months later her doctor confirmed our prognosis and scheduled her for laser surgery. Her reflection in the mirror confirmed that her surgery had been a huge success. God heard my prayers for her. I felt as if He had turned a deaf ear to me as I fervently pleaded for a child of my own, yet He heard my prayers for her, and now she was pregnant.
Why?
The elevator doors opened and as she exited I congratulated her and wished her well. Immediately, I felt guilty for my earlier thoughts. I was happy for her – really I was – but I still couldn't help wondering, “Why not me?”
Why did God choose to heal others and not me? Why did He answer one prayer “yes” and another “no”? Why did He allow so many the gift of life and refuse me and others like me? Why were we denied this blessing?
Some days there are too many questions and not enough answers. It's at times like this that I am reminded of one certainty in life. God promises in Isaiah 42:16 (NIV) "I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them."
He has not forgotten me. He will never forsake me. He promises to make the roughest times smooth. Even in the darkness of a dimly lit elevator, He sends His light.
Debra Shirley has battled infertility since the age of 23. In 1994, she was forced to undergo a hysterectomy, but throughout her nineteen-year struggle, God was faithful. He consistently provided the comfort and strength to make it through the most difficult days. Debra lives in McCalla, Alabama, and hopes that her writing will encourage other infertile women to seek God's presence during the tough times.
Empty Arms
by Charity Jenkins
The following poem was given to me with inspiration from the Lord in response to my heartcry for a baby of my own. May it encourage you as you wait expectantly, with contentment and purpose.
Thank you, Lord, for empty arms
Ready to be filled
With just Your will, and not my own,
To Your great plan I yield.
Thank you, Lord, for empty arms;
At times they long for more,
But help me to be satisfied
With what I'm created for. . .
To love You and to praise You,
To worship at Your feet,
To have You working through me,
Touching those I meet.
Without empty arms,
It might be hard to do what You desire.
Without empty arms,
I might grow cold, and slowly lose my fire.
I might not see my need for You
In every minute of every hour.
I might trust in my human strength,
And not Your blood and power.
With empty arms,
I have to trust.
I have no other choice.
With empty arms, I am amazed
When I hear it in Your voice. . .
That You know my every thought, desire,
That You listen when I plea.
That You've birthed this yearning in my heart,
'Cause You live inside of me.
May these arms never be filled, my Lord,
With one I'd love more than Thee.
May You always be my first love,
You, the One who set me free.
May these arms be filled in Your time,
May my heart wait patiently,
As You mold me into the daughter
And the mother You'd have me be.
The following excerpt is from “The Letters of Samuel Rutherford.” This particular letter was written on June 26, 1630, and the encouragement Rutherford gives is a great reminder in all kinds of suffering.
Madam:
Grace, mercy and peace be multiplied to you. I received your Ladyship’s letter, in the which I perceive your case in this world savoureth of worship and communion with the Son of God, in his sufferings. You cannot, you must not have a more pleasant or more easy condition here, than he had, who ‘through afflictions was made perfect’ [Heb. 2:10]. We may indeed think, Cannot God bring us to heaven with ease and prosperity? Who doubteth but he can? But his infinite wisdom thinketh and decreeth the contrary; and though we cannot see a reason for it, yet he hath a most just reason. We never with our eyes saw our own soul, yet we have a soul; we see many rivers, but we know not their first spring and original fountain, yet they have a beginning.
Madam, when you are come to the other side of the water, and have set down your foot on the shore of glorious eternity, and look back again to the waters and to your wearisome journey, and shall see in that clear glass of endless glory nearer to the bottom of God’s wisdom, you shall then be forced to say, ‘If God had done otherwise with me than he hath done, I had never come to the enjoying of this crown of glory.’ It is your part now to believe, and suffer, and hope, and wait on: for I protest in the presence of that all-discerning eye who knoweth what I write and what I think, that I would not want the sweet experience of the consolations of God for all the bitterness of affliction; nay, whether God come to his children with a rod or a crown, if he come himself with it, it is well. Welcome, welcome Jesus, what way soever thou come, if we can get a sight of thee. And sure I am, it is better to be sick, providing Christ come to the bed-side, and draw aside the curtains, and say ‘Courage, I am thy salvation,’ than to enjoy health, being lusty and strong, and never to be visited of God.
Worthy and dear lady, in the strength of Christ, fight and overcome. You are now alone, but you may have, for the seeking, three always in your company, the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I trust they are near you.
If you have an encouraging quote that has especially challenged you, please e-mail Jill at
newsletter@hannah.org so that we may consider
it for an upcoming issue of Hannah to Hannah.
Life's Greatest
Lesson
By Susan Reardon
I would gladly trade places
With the women I see.
The joy on their faces,
Why can’t that be me?
They complain of stretch marks,
And sometimes of heartburn,
Their feet may get swollen.
Then stomachs in turn.
I would gladly trade places
With the women I see.
But instead battle daily
With Infertility.
My months filled with charting
And days filled with meds.
I lie on white sheets
Of hospital beds.
But if I traded places
With the women I saw,
I’d miss life’s greatest lesson
Trusting God with my all.
Susan Reardon has been married and trying to conceive for 5 1/2 years. She was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome in 2000, and after several years of fertility treatments she and her husband have decided to stop and save up for adoption. Susan says, “I would have never made it through without God's love and ever-amazing support from friends and family.” Susan lives in Rochester, New York.
New Book Study Starting September 16th
Please join us starting September 16th for our newest book study. We will be doing a fourteen-week in-depth study of “The Power of a Praying Wife” by Stormie Omartian. Stormie shares how God has strengthened her own marriage since she began to pray for her husband. She shares insight into key areas in which a wife can pray for her husband, including his faith, his spiritual walk, his relationships, and his future. Every woman who desires a closer relationship with her husband will appreciate this refreshing look at the power of prayer in marriage.
I am excited to lead the discussion on this wonderful book in the new forum of the
boards. (In order to access this study forum, you will need to become a
member of our Community Forums.) My name is Krista Wright and I live in Michigan with my wonderful husband, John. We will be celebrating four great years (and one not so great year) of marriage in December. We have been trying to conceive for all five of those years, but only one of those years was spent pursuing infertility treatment. We have now put treatment on the back burner because we have been foster parenting our nephew, whom we hope to adopt by Christmas. God has sustained us through some very tough times and we came very close to divorce, but praise God, He brought us through and our marriage is stronger today because of those trials. I found this book right after our time of trial about two years ago, and I wish I had read it before. My husband and I both changed dramatically after I began to pray for him as described in this book.
I hope this will not only be a book study, but a Bible study and prayer group full of women who are open, honest, and seeking to pray for their husbands in accordance with God's will for both of their lives.
I will be posting a schedule on the message board for those of you who will be joining me in the book study. For the first week (Sept 16-21) please read the chapter entitled "The Power" and please post a message sharing a little about yourself, including how long you've been married, how long you’ve been trying to conceive, and what you hope to get out of this book study. Each week I will propose a question or thought to discuss, but I welcome your thoughts and questions also.
Looking forward to meeting all of you! In Christ's love, Krista
Upcoming Events
Is your organization sponsoring an infertility, adoption,
or infant loss seminar?
If so, please e-mail Jill at newsletter@hannah.org
so that we may consider
your announcement for an upcoming issue of "Hannah to Hannah."
Hannah's Prayer is not directly related to, nor has any
financial interest in, these organizations.
We prayerfully list them to help you find other resources that may be of
blessing or encouragement to you.
RESOLVE Infertility and Adoption Conference 2002
September 27-28, 2002
Magee Women’s Hospital
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
We are planning our infertility and adoption conference for 2002. The date has been set during National Infertility Awareness Week, September 27 & 28. We are very fortunate enough to be able to hold this year’s conference at Magee Women’s Hospital in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, on Friday at 7:00 p.m. and on Saturday from 7:30 a.m. - 5:00 p.m. A detailed schedule is available on our Web site at
www.resolve.org.
Adoption Academy Offers Classes
Columbus Children's Hospital
700 Children's Dr.
Columbus, Ohio
(614) 722-4949 Children's Hospital Education Department
Here is the fall schedule for the upcoming educational classes:
CORE track (3 weeks)
September 24 Introduction of the Academy and Overview of Adoption
October 1 The Nuts and Bolts of Home Study
October 8 Emotional and Social Implications of Adoption and Parent Panel
DOMESTIC TRACK (4 weeks)
October 15 The Step-by-Step Process of Adoption and Find the Adoptive Child
October 22 The Spectrum of Openness in Adoption and Cultural Considerations
October 29 Preparing for the Child's Arrival: Medical and Behavioral Aspects of
Adoption
November 5 Affording Your Adoption and Parent and Adoptee Panel
INTERNATIONAL TRACK (4 weeks)
November 12 Step-by-Step Process of International Adoption
November 19 Dealing with Governments - Ours and Others
December 3 Medical and Health Care Needs of the Child
December 10 Transcultural Adoption Considerations
CORE: $15 first person, $10 each additional
Domestic and International Fees are $20 for first person, $15 for each additional
All classes are at Columbus Children's Hospital, 700 Children's Dr. Columbus, Ohio.
Call Children's Hospital Education Dept. at (614) 722-4949 for a registration brochure or if you have additional questions. Brochures are also available online at the RESOLVE of Ohio web site, www.resolveofohio.org or www.childrenscolumbus.com or www.law.capital.edu/adoption.
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Parent Support Group in Glendale, California
Fourth Thursday of every month
7:30pm – 9:30 pm at Verdugo Hills Hospital
Main Entrance, 4th Floor, Council Rooms
1812 Verdugo Blvd., Glendale, California
The Pregnancy and Infant Loss Group of Verdugo Hills Chapter of The Compassionate Friends, is for parents who are grieving the loss of a baby through ectopic pregnancy, miscarriage, stillbirth, newborn or early infant death. Mothers and fathers are invited to attend alone or with their partner. We will meet on the same dates and times as the general Compassionate Friend meetings, but in an adjacent room. For more information please call (818) 957-0254 or contact Susan
tcfsgh@pacbell.net.
Infertility & Adoption Group
Fourth Thursday of every month
7:00-9:00 pm at Evangelical Free Church of Fresno
3438 E. Ashlan Avenue
Fresno, California 93726-3597
For more information, please contact Pete and Linda Weller at 226-4100.
Infertility Support Group
Last Friday of every month
7:00 pm at the First United Methodist Church
72 Lake Morton Drive
Lakeland, Florida 33801
Phone contact: First UMC Counseling Office (863) 644-8241
Please call to confirm time and location. Should you require further information or confirmation, please contact Laurie Busey at
greggbuseyz@yahoo.com or phone (863) 644-1507.
Infertility Support Group
Meeting times: to be determined
Sheffield Family Life Center Church
5700 Winner Road
Kansas City, Missouri
Contact: Terri Bennett
(816) 220-9823
nealandterri@yahoo.com
The Sheffield Family Life Center Church has built a new building and expanded its programs to include a new ministry called, "The Refuge.” They are starting a Christian support group for those experiencing infertility, unwanted childlessness, and other related issues. The name of the support group is, "Light On The Path.” The groups will meet monthly for support and there will also be special events (adoption panels, etc.). There are brochures available if you would like to have a copy e-mailed or mailed to you. The group may meet at the church or in Terri’s home. Please contact Terri if you are interested in attending.
2003 Hannah to Hannah Topics & Submission Deadlines
January 2003 - New Year's Update - submissions by Dec. 15, 2002
February 2003 - Marriage Builders - submissions by January 15, 2003
March 2003 - Secondary Infertility, Step-parenting - submissions by February 15, 2003
April 2003 - Church, Family, and Friends - submissions by March 15, 2003
May 2003 - Mother's Day and Female Issues - submissions by April 15, 2003
June 2003 - Father's Day and Male Issues - submissions by May 15, 2003
July 2003 - Infertility within the Military Family - submissions by June 15, 2003
August 2003 - Diagnosis and Treatment - submissions by July 15, 2003
September 2003 - Infertility Awareness Month - submissions by August 15, 2003
October 2003 - Pregnancy Loss Month, Thanksgiving - submissions by September 15, 2003
November 2003 - Adoption Awareness Month - submissions by October 15, 2003
December 2003 - Christmas and Holiday Coping - submissions by November 15, 2003
All submissions to the newsletter (whether by snail mail or
e-mail) must include the following information:
- Full name
- Address
- City, State Zip
- Phone number
- E-mail address
- Has this work been published
previously? Yes No
- (If yes, please provide publisher's
name and address)
- Does H2H have your permission to use
this work in the newsletter? Yes No
- OPTIONAL short biography about your
infertility journey
If you have several submissions (example: sending one e-mail with several poems
attached or mailing several poems in one envelope) each individual
submission must include this information. Submissions not including this
information will not be used in H2H. Thank you for your assistance with
this policy!
Newsletter Submission and Reprint Information
Hannah's Prayer is a California based, non-profit 501(c)(3)
organization, established Jan 1, 1995. All staff members are unpaid volunteers who are proclaiming
Christians (from a range of denominational backgrounds) and have personal
experience with the heartache of fertility challenges. 
was
designed exclusively for Hannah's Prayer by