Pregnancy or Adoption After Infertility

"Trying to Conceive" & Subsequent Pregnancy After Loss

Labor, Delivery and Pregnancy Links

Parenthood

Pregnancy or Adoption After Infertility

Congratulations! We praise the Lord with you in celebration of your coming child!!! It is indeed a blessing to hear that you have conceived (or are awaiting the arrival of your adopted child). After such a long wait for this day to come, your feelings of indescribable joy and excitement may also be mixed with many fears and feelings of confusion - this is a normal reaction. Many "pregnant infertile" couples report feeling that they have betrayed their infertile friends or even their own identity after being infertile for so long. And of course, as you have traveled through infertility, you have read, read, and READ so much that now you worry about all the things that can go wrong. Here are some resources to help you keep your sanity in the months ahead.

Jesus said: "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."
John 14:27

Information about reducing risks of birth defects or death for your baby, or if you are pregnant with multiples (twins or higher), or you have any complications in your pregnancy such as preterm labor or confinement to bed rest, you may wish to visit our Complicated Pregnancy page.

Shared Journey "What wonderfully exciting and mixed feelings must bring you to this page. To finally have concieved, and yet be in a state of disbelief at the same time! It is our hope to provide you with information to help ease your mind, and enjoy the nine months ahead of you!"

Enduring the Wait until you Adopt

Pregnancy After Infertility Bulletin Board - Fertile Thoughts

Adoption After Infertility Chat Room - Fertile Thoughts

Pre-adoptive Family Listserve "Support group for people considering adopting, are pre-adoptive parents or who have just adopted or are in process of adopting." To join, email adopt-request@lists.best.com with subscribe as the body of your message.

ParentsPlace Bulletin Board devoted to discussion of pregnancy after infertility.

Miracle Pregnancies Bulletin Board from INCIID (InterNational Council for Infertility Information Dissemination) to share concerns and support during an after-infertility pregnancy.

As you prepare for your child's arrival in your home, you may want to visit our Parenthood links!

Subsequent Pregnancy After Loss

I'm Considering Another Pregnancy or Trying to Conceive (not yet pregnant).
I'm Pregnant Again (excited and frightened)!

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of sound mind."
II Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)

Considering Another Pregnancy or Trying to Conceive

Pregnant Again

We thank the Lord with you in the gift of this new life He has placed within your womb. Every moment this child is with you, whether an hour in the womb, a lifetime far into adulthood, or something in between, is a precious gift from God. I am sorry that you are reading this page because to be experiencing a "subsequent pregnancy" tells me that you have already known the heartbreak of being a bereaved parent. Your innocence about pregnancy, birth, or raising a baby was shattered the day your child died so this pregnancy may be an emotional roller coaster. While it is a blessing to hear that you have conceived this little miracle, we know that you may be feeling many confusing things in this pregnancy - joy, fear, worry, excitement, grief for the child who has already died, hope for this child who is just starting to live, and perhaps even (false) guilt that you could be loving a new child while your heart still longs for one now in Heaven.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7

Hannah's Prayer Community Forums (previously known as Ladies In Waiting) provide close to 80 issue-specific message board forums related to various aspect of infertility, pregnancy/infant loss, adoption and more.  Our Pregnancy After Loss forum will encourage you during this journey.  

For links on reducing risks of birth defects or death for your baby, or if you are pregnant with multiples (twins or higher), or you have any complications in your pregnancy such as preterm labor or confinement to bed rest, you may wish to visit our Complicated Pregnancy page.

Hopeful Women is dedicated to offering women positive Christian support through the process of having another baby after a stillbirth, neonatal death or infant loss up to a year.    Resources for loss/grief, trying to conceive, subsequent pregnancy and parenting. Site also includes resources on carrying to term after an adverse prenatal diagnosis.

Bereaved Moms Share is an email list for Christian women who have lost a baby or babies by miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death (up to 6 months) to remember their babies, encourage one another, and share hope in Christ that they will be united with their children in Heaven.  Join their special Bereaved Moms Rejoice list for women who are pregnant or have given birth to a living child since previous loss by sending a blank email to BereavedMomsREJOICE-subscribe@topica.com.

The Subsequent Child (after SIDS): part 1, part 2, part 3.

SPALS - "Subsequent Pregnancy After A Loss Support" is a support network to families who are currently pregnant, trying to conceive, considering another pregnancy, or wrestling with the whole idea of becoming pregnant again. The group is made up of people who "have experienced the loss of a child due to miscarriage, selective termination, stillbirth, neonatal death, sudden infant death, or accidental death." If discussion of abortion (selective termination) will disturb you, this may not be a resource you want to use.

As you prepare for your new baby's arrival in your home, you may want to visit our Parenthood links!

Labor, Delivery and General Pregnancy Links

A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world.
John 16:21

For links on "high risk" pregnancies, multiples (twins or higher), or birth defects, please visit our Complicated Pregnancy page.

For some needed peace of mind, visit Heartbeats At Home.  This company rents and sells ultrasound equipped Fetal Doppler systems (also known as Fetal Heart Monitors) to pregnant women all over the United States.  "The Heartbeats At Home family would also like you to know that in the months and years ahead, we sincerely pray for you and your baby's health and well-being."

Cord Blood Registry What are you planning to do with your baby's umbilical cord?  Affordable stem cell storage!  (Please mention you were referred by Jennifer Saake of their Mother-toMother education network.)

Father are Pregnant Too

Dads and Pregnancy

Early Pregnancy HCG Levels and Ultrasounds - charts on human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG) hormone levels for normal singleton and twin pregnancies

Week by Week Guide to Pregnancy

Interactive Pregnancy Journal

Ultrasound Pictures - includes every week of pregnancy

Baby Names

Birth Plans

The Bradley Method - natural childbirth

Lamaze - childbirth education

Tree of Life - "Christian prepared childbirth"

OBGYN.net Pregnancy and Birth

Baby Center - a wonderful resource filled with information, bulletin boards (including special boards for each due date month), polls, articles, information on fetal development and more!

Stork Net - "The friendliest pregnancy and parenting community online!"

Stork Site - "The premier pregnancy and new parenting community on the Web." Includes chat, contests, bulletin boards, medical references, and the "Storkzine" web magazine

First Nine Months - ParentsPlace.com

Cesarean Section

Vaginal Birth After Cesarean

Complications of Labor & Birth

Pregnancy & Birth - "Mining Co."

Lynne's Ultimate Pregnancy Page

Now That My Child Is Here...

"As surely as you live, my lord, I am the woman who stood here beside you praying to the LORD. I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of Him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD."
First Samuel 1: 26b-28a

After months or years of waiting, praying, grieving and heartache, a new child has been added to your life. You are more happy than you can even describe and you find yourself continually thanking God for this incredible blessing. With Hannah you sing, "My heart rejoices in the LORD" (First Samuel 2:1a). It is the desire of your heart to raise this child to know and glorify God. The awesome task of wise parenthood, in all its wonder and responsibility, is now before you. Here are a few resources to start you on the way.

Yet in the midst of your joy, you may be shocked to find the realities of parenthood to be quite different than your expectations. If this baby comes after a long struggle with infertility, sleepless nights and postpartum depression can be shocking experiences when compared to the idealistic dreams that you have built up over the years of a perfect child and easy transition into parenthood. Your adopted child, especially an older baby/child, may be having a hard time adjusting to your home and routine. Guilt feelings can be staggering as you try to balance sleep-deprived aggravation with the realization that you have prayed, and cried, and dreamed of this day for so long, and now that it is here, you wish you could find a shoulder to cry on without hearing, "You asked for this!" Infertility does not negate your right to be a "normal" parent. Parents have days (or weeks, or months) of frustration at times, and it is ok to admit to yourself and others when you are feeling overwhelmed.

If you are facing parenthood after a previous death, your new baby may bring along unwelcome reminders and an unexpected wave of fresh grief for your child who has died. Especially if your previous loss occurred after your child was home from the hospital, you may find yourself in a near-constant state of panic that something will happen to this baby too - continually checking to see that your new baby is still breathing in his sleep, and hesitant to let others hold or be near your baby. Urges to be overprotective and feelings of panic or fear are not unusual. Allow yourself time to work through the complex emotions that that this child has stirred within you. Be patient with yourself, your spouse, and your child, and look to the Lord for strength as you daily commit your baby to God.

He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the LORD.
Psalm 113:9

Hannah's Prayer Community Forums (previously known as Ladies In Waiting) provide close to 80 issue-specific message board forums related to various aspect of infertility, pregnancy/infant loss, adoption and more.  Our Adoption & Foster Care and Course of Time:
Pregnancy & Parenting forums cover a range of issues such as Moms of Newborns (adoption or birth, the delights, questions and fears a new infant brings), Motherhood, Adoptive Parenting, Parenting Adopted Multiples, Parenting Onlies (adopted, biological or step), Multiples, Moms of Many ( 3 or more children) and many more.

For links on parenting premature babies, multiples (twins or higher), or children with birth defects or handicaps, you may wish to visit our Complicated Parenting page.

Bereaved Moms Share is an email list for Christian women who have lost a baby or babies by miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death (up to 6 months) to remember their babies, encourage one another, and share hope in Christ that they will be united with their children in Heaven.  Join their special Bereaved Moms Rejoice list for women who are pregnant or have given birth to a living child since previous loss by sending a blank email to BereavedMomsREJOICE-subscribe@topica.com.

Adoption After Infertility Chat Room - Fertile Thoughts

Postpartum Resources - links for various after birth issues from physical to emotional

Postpartum: Depression & Other Issues

Post Adoption Depression Syndrome - Yes, you read that right, post adoption depression!

Once You've Adopted - a list of resources dealing with many parenting after adoption issues such as Answers to Children's Questions About Adoption, Issues of Interracial Adoption, Answering "Rude/Awkward" Questions People Ask, and Stages of Development

Beyond Adoption - a positive email list where adoptive and pre-adoptive parents share, encourage and uplift one another while dealing with the daily miracle of adoption.

Over Precious Children insights from experts and tips on parenting your miracle children.

P.A.I.L.S. of Hope is a newsletter for "Pregnancy / Parenting After Infertility or Loss Support".

All Things Are Possible One woman's story of primary infertility, pregnancy loss, secondary infertility, foster parenthood, and adoption. "I wonder... should infertility be called 'A struggle to conceive a child?' or 'A blessing in disguise?' Someone told me that when you are faced with infertility it was because the Lord knew that you were strong enough to make your dream of having the children and family you so badly want a reality... that others may not keep up that great fight, or have the passionate desire to find a way to build their family, but may passively accept that they would not have children and find other ways to fulfill their lives. While going through the struggles of infertility, you're sure that infertility is no blessing--in disguise or otherwise!"

Parenting Miracles Bulletin Board from INCIID (InterNational Council for Infertility Information Dissemination) offering support for parents of adopted children and those born after infertility.

Parenting After Infertility Chat Room "Addressing the special issues of moms and dads of little miracles." Thursday, 8:00 P.M.. EST

Dear Hannah's Prayer,
I stumbled upon your web site, not because I am in need of solace or fellowship around the issue of primary infertility, but because that was such a big part of our lives for several years. I wish I had other Christians to talk to back then, through the shock of being at first unable to conceive followed by the devastation of miscarrying our baby at 12 weeks. These things were terribly hard to reconcile with my faith!
At the point when I was ready to concede that God's answer to our prayers might just be "no," our Clomid twins were conceived. They are almost three now and I've had a tremendously hard, tantrumy day with our son Martin today. To spend twenty minutes browsing your web page reminds me how desperately we wanted Colin and Martin, what gifts from God they are, and how gracious God is.
The answer turned out to be "yes," of course, but each gift from God is given with much expected in return. None of it is easy, but there is always a measure of grace to sustain us. I will tell others about the resources available here. Thanks! I felt so very alone and confused in the middle of our infertility and pregnancy loss - so "Hannahed!" I wish I had know you were there.
Heidi, December 1996

Eli would bless Elkanah and his wife, saying, "May the LORD give you children by this woman to take the place of the one she prayed for and gave to the LORD." Then they would go home. And the LORD was gracious to Hannah; she conceived and gave birth to three sons and two daughters. Meanwhile, the boy Samuel grew up in the presence of the LORD.
First Samuel 2:20-21

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